Dearest Fart Party readers,
below is a list of services I provide and ones I request from you, starting 2008 and beyond. All answers/inquiries/offers can be sent to juliawertz(at)gmail(dot)com

Services provided:
so, I frequently get the wanderlust and ain’t so fond of New York, so if you’re going on vacation and need someone to watch your apartment or house, I’m happy to offer my services as a vigilant watcher. And I promise not to pee in your sink. I’ll do it for free, but it’d be great to be paid if you can afford it. I’m pretty good at watering house plants and feeding animals too. I’m not very good at math though. Anytime/anywhere, this offer is always valid.

Services requested:
I’m gearing up for a cross country trip probably sometime this summer, if you have a couch I can crash on anywhere between New York and San Francisco (including either of those cities) email me. I’m gonna put those emails in a separate folder and save them for when I figure out my route, so I might not write back immediately. I’m just stock piling places to crash. All I ask is that you don’t expect me to be your dancing monkey, that you’re not a creepy and that you don’t slip a mickey in my drink.

To New Yorkers only:
My ass needs a motherfuckin’ job. If you know of any, email me. If you can offer me one, even better. I’m a good restaurant/cafe worker, freelance writer and reviewer but I’m not any good with computers. and again, not so good with the whole math thing.

To San Franciscans:
if anyone can offer me a job that’s good enough to make me leave New York early, I will buy you beer and fill your pockets with rainbows and sunshine.

To Everyone:
I accept trades of all kinds (meaning more than comics/books/zines, if you catch my unsubtle drift) Conventions are the easiest way to trade with me, but again, I’m open to discussing other methods (and tradin’ goods). You can see a list of readings/conventions I’ll be at on the events page. But none of that “meet me at the clocktower at midnight” bullshit cause I reserve that for treasure hunters and the ghosts of sailors who died at sea.