not so much ghosts
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009oh hey, if you’re in high school and you have a really shitty garage band that needs a name, I highly suggest Perpetual Pizza Party. It’s kind of awesome but only while you’re a teenager
oh hey, if you’re in high school and you have a really shitty garage band that needs a name, I highly suggest Perpetual Pizza Party. It’s kind of awesome but only while you’re a teenager
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November 3rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I would totally have a hard time making a decision between relationships and pizza/beer as well. Both taste great and both are destructive.
Nice shout out to tiramisu, hands down the best dessert ever made.
If you’re not comfortable being a full atheist there is a 12-month plan to ease into it. It’s painless.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Nice strip! The facial expression in the second panel is one of my all-time favorites. In related news, I recently attended a pizza party. Upside: Free pizza. Downside: Had to sit through five episodes of Lipstick Jungle (which I secretly enjoyed).
Keep up the good work, Julia Wertz!
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I’m jealous, I can’t sneak full meals into the theater. The manager always gives me dirty looks and makes the ushers go through my backpack.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Yeah, I’m romantically broke on the inside too. I was going to go blog about it, but that would secure my status as a self-absorbed hip-*COUGH*.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
aaw, it’s so cute when 2003 leaves comments on my website. How’s myspace doing?
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
The band Total Fucking Pizza Party exists in reality.
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Ah yes, crappy mystery shows. I also adore them. My grandmother wacthes murder she wrote and matlock religiously, despite the fact that they are all repeats and she’s seen them a million times. I posit that I will turn into her, only my repeats will have more semen and blood spatter.
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
In order:
1. Pizza Party
2. You’re distracted
3. Beer should be served at movies. Sneaking it in sucks! (especially to kids movies)
4. Why would you admit that?!
5. I do that with my boy.
6. Ease into it via Unitarian-Universalism
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I do all of those things! (except I have a dog not a cat)
man, perpetual pizza parties and crime dramas are way better than people anyways (for the most part).
and I agree with Trickynixon
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:10 pm
My cat’s name: Yoshimi.
My cat’s nicknames: schnookie-bottoms, smoochie-boochies, little bear, small one, fuzzy lumpkins, cutie-pootie, Yoshi-mi-maw, yo’ mamma, li’l miss, snugglekins, doodle-bug, etc.
And when she pisses on my clean laundry, “Yoshimi? More like Yo-PEE-me!” and “Bitch.”
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:41 pm
This is why I married Mrs. Punk. We just do the lifelong pizza party, call the cats stupid things, eat meals while watching bones or medium together.
See that is the answer.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:41 pm
This comic totally made me fall in love with you.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:42 pm
oh, and like in frame 3, we refuse to give up the hoodies.
we hella love them.
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:10 pm
That’s interesting about the atheist thing…
Was that last really panel true (fear part of it)?
I totally thought you were, considering that one old comic (is it wrong to think describing someone as educated and religious is funny)
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Also you misspelled atheist. I don’t think people really care about that though- I think its just the writer.
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:12 pm
the last panel. i just recently got over that. it was scary. check out richard dawkins. he’ll help you.
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weak_and_strong_atheism
Maybe you can have your cake and not burn in hell too.
Sorry for the 3 comments (add an edit button!)
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
You know, you can have the beer / pizza party AND be content and stable AND be in a relationship AND be an atheist without being a bad person. I know, I’m living that life. My relationship is a weekends only long distance thing that seems to be working out pretty darn well for my “insides are broken” girlfriend and me. Not too much commitment, nor too much interfering with the beer/pizza party, and definitely no worries about going to church on Sunday mornings.
And cats never go by their real names. Mine are usually “fuzzy butt,” “cutie-booty,” and “Goddammitcat!”
Oh, and if you want to look into skepticism / atheism, go check out skepchick.org and Pharyngula. Google that second one. The actual url is longer.
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
My cat’s name is Jasper. I routinely call him Jibjabs, Sunshine Boy, and Butternut Squash.
Okay, in print that just looks creepy as all hell. Forget I said anything.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Try being an agnostic, it’s like the lactose intolerant equivilant of atheism
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:41 pm
this made me think of you (creepy) because of your obvious hate for babies
http://placesyoudontbringababy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/burning_man_slippers.jpg
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
[insert wisdom of the ages here]
Is there somewhere I can get a tiramisu burrito?
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
The atheist thing is awesome because once it starts to sink in that when you’re dead you’re shit out of luck, that’s when the fire lights under you to do something with your life.
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Careful, the only thing more annoying than religious people is atheists.
November 4th, 2009 at 12:32 am
Once you admit to being an athiest, the world seems less magical. However, you can steal waffles from hotel lobbys and you won’t feel bad about it because no bearded superghost is judging you.
November 4th, 2009 at 12:39 am
My cat’s name is Serendipity, but almost never call her that. Five syllables? Who’s got time for that? She’s got probably two dozen nicknames.
It took me a while to get from the “probably, sorta, maybe an atheist” stage to “yeah, I’m an atheist, what’s it to ya,” but it’s pretty awesome once you get past that last bit of guilt.
November 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
I’m pretty damn lucky in that I have a stable long-term relationship and have a lightning metabolism… alcohol may kill me still…
November 4th, 2009 at 4:58 am
i would totally have a pizza party with you, eat a full meal at cinemas and the rest. thats kinda how my girlfriend is, so, there is hope for you too. if you’re afraid to say you’re an atheist, call yourself an agnostic. it sounds cool too.
November 4th, 2009 at 5:02 am
Eh… there’s no shame in not having found someone you’re interested in. Though, I only say that because I was born with my insides broke’d.
There’s also no shame in being on the fence, as long as you seek the answers to things you actually care about.
November 4th, 2009 at 6:39 am
my cat has many, many names. his name is abraham lincoln, and he gets called anything but
November 4th, 2009 at 6:58 am
Wait, what’s wrong with Bones?
November 4th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Ghost of embarrassing present would have made a pretty good Halloween costume.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:13 am
bram stoker’s dracula - sexy and badass
bram stoker’s mummy - horrible and feels like the plot to a soft core porn
November 4th, 2009 at 9:18 am
No one I know calls their cat only by its given name.
I own at least 5 seasons of Columbo on DVD.
I guess we’re all in the same sad boat here.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Being single is addictive. So much less work.
Beware, a perpetual pizza party could turn you into Pizza Midas.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Not the same thing, they’re kinda old and all but there is a real fun band in SF called Personal and the Pizzas. And then and another band in Sacto called the Pizzas that’re okay
November 4th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Hey Julia,
Let’s pretend I already went through my long drawn out story of how I was a hardcore Presbyterian while being raised, became an atheist of my own volition after serious deliberation over a long period of time, and had my personal experience w/God.
Now that we have that out of the way, my advice to you is this (and I’m only giving it because that last panel seemed to call for it…):
Don’t worry about it.
If/when you’re supposed to have something happen with God, it’ll happen. Till then you really don’t have to worry too much about what you do, because if these comics are any indication, you’re already going to hell (if it exists, and I don’t believe it does). Of course, I’m sure you’re more worried about the question you’re posing in that last panel, which is the biggest sin or the last straw…. “what if I don’t believe.” Well.. do you really believe an all loving being would turn someone away because they couldn’t wrap their head around the idea of an entity that is radically different from anything they’ve ever known?
I apologize for the novel.. but like I said, I’ve been there. Well, that and I’ve got a degree in Philosophy, so it kind of comes w/the territory. Finally, I leave you w/a quote from my favorite band, Bad Religion:
“Our faith should be expressed in working toward a better planet for our children and not the selfish, juvenile hope for a better afterlife for ourselves. I don’t think anyone is going to Hell because it only exists in the minds of people who wish ill-will on others.”
Greg Gaffin
November 4th, 2009 at 10:06 am
oof. Listen folks, me and whatever I believe is not an issue in my life what so ever. You can stop offering unsolicited advice. I do, however, have an issue with comments like blogs. Is there a way to put a cap on the word count? I always knew a degree in philosophy meant a lot of mealy mouthing off but damn son, do it on your own territory, not mine.
November 4th, 2009 at 10:51 am
perpetual pizza party huh? Caitlin McGurk, another comic artist coined the phrase “the eternal pizza party” back in the day. she’s just getting started. give her props.
November 4th, 2009 at 11:34 am
For atheists, hell is other commenters.
November 4th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I am sure there must be an awesome comic you could do based on blog comments…
Sometimes I find them, and your replies (or even just wondering how you react when you read them), almost as funny as Fart Party itself!
p.s. panel two is extra-brilliant
November 4th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I agree about the atheism. I have the same conflict. Welcome to the club!
November 4th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Damn, girl, it’s like you’re livin’ mah life! I done broke my romantical insides too (and I mostly call my cat Chubs, which is not her name, fortunately for her). Only difference is, I like to watch REALLY stupid mysteries like Ghost Whisperer, cuz I hate violence.
November 4th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I’d go for the beer and pizza. Life long happy relationships are delusional. Pizza and beer are fo’ realZ and delicious.
And don’t worry about being an atheist. You’re already an atheist to other people’s wacky beliefs (Zeus, Mohamed, Allah, L.Ron Hubbard, Joseph Smith, Flying Spaghetti Monster) , .. whats one more god?
And being an atheist can mean that you hope that god exists, but have a hard time believing it.
I’m one-upping you.. i’m a non-theist. Not only do I not believe.. I hope that god doesn’t exist. The God of the bible is such a Arrogant narcissistic douche-monkey.
November 4th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I figured that The Fart Party was a fictionalized, semi-autobiographical comic about its author. So are people trying to tell one fictional character not to believe in another fictional character? That’s like debating who was better: Kirk or Picard? I vote Picard.
November 4th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Oh, can of worms…
By the way, since when is atheism not a religion? Last I checked, it was just as faith- and theory-based as any other religion out there.
November 4th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhmjnYKlVnM
November 4th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Where is your Mom to comment and close the can of worms?
November 4th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
okay so I just had go delete a bunch of long winded comments that were pretty much novels. Please, people, stop doing that. I dont’ care if you’re God himself, if you’re comment is insanely long, I’m gonna fucking delete it.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Is that so?
November 4th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
“Careful, the only thing more annoying than religious people is atheists.”
I disagree, and not only because that sentence doesn’t make sense.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
I walked the two and half miles home from school today only to plop my lazy ass down and have a bean burrito. So yeah, I’m with you on that whole “if only life could be a perpetual pizza party” type of thing.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:11 am
this is why i save fartparty on my bookmarks
November 5th, 2009 at 3:14 am
I had never considered the debate in panel 1, and now that I have I’m afraid I’ll be single forever. My mom hates you.
November 5th, 2009 at 6:58 am
Heh heh.
I love these here comics.
I done gone an’ bookmarked this site long ago, just like that feller above me. They make me giggle.
Keep on rockin’, you burrito eatin’ genius.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Did my big long treatise on why I’m an atheist get moderated? I didn’t think it was offensive, and I intentionally went out of my way to make sure it wasn’t.
Anyway, the summary is as follows: Atheism is not a religion because it is based on facts that we can see and hear and touch. There is no faith in atheism because we don’t need faith to know that tables are real.
We’re also good people.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:38 am
How is the burrito/ tiramisu tag team? Both are good, I’ve never imagined eating them together though.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:46 am
zadl- yes, I deleted it. I repeatedly asked people not to leave long ass comments like that. It’s annoying no matter what the intent. I also don’t want to start a debate on atheism.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:20 am
So, you post a timid, pseudo-questiony panel about belief in ***GOD*** of all things… and you wonder why you get a bunch of people chiming in to help you answer the question you asked and then get pissed off about it?
Is this your first time on the internet? I mean seriously.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:32 am
yep, sounds about right. just because I’m on the internet doesn’t mean I have to like the way it works
November 5th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Julia - No prob. I kinda figured it was that. I’m sorry for doing that, and I won’t repeat the behavior. ^_^
Keep up the good work, and it’s always a pleasure to come here and read.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
It seems like you’ve been channelling Janeane Garofalo circa 1997 lately.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Seems like the ghosts of the present like to lurk in cans of worms.
I wonder did you get (and delete) any mails of the kind “But, if you look for God you will find love again” or do you successfully not even attract this kind of audience? I’d have loved to see you pack your (metaphorical) gun for them
Also, pedigree pets have fun names that you can’t possibly think of using. My cat was called Hazel-of-Lake-Ithasca.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I know this is off topic, but I’m in a place in my life where I can choose to move anywhere in the US. New York and San Fran are on my list and since you’ve lived in both places I was wondering if you could give me any insight Julia.
Also on list: Washington, L.A., San Diego
November 5th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
in good faith, I could not recommend either city. People who love SF or NY do so with a passion, but same goes for people who hate them. It’s a highly personal choice. The only thing I would recommend is spending a lot of time in each city before you make your choice.
November 5th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Point taken.
Ah well, if nothing else, I’m sure it’ll help boost google results.
“Am I going to go to hell if I don’t believe in God” *search*
The Fart Party
oh hey, if you’re in high school and you have a really shitty garage band that needs a name, I highly suggest Perpetual Pizza Party. …
November 5th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
ny is the shit!
November 5th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
My cat’s name is Chloe, but we call her either “snoots”, or “that ill-tempered varmint”.
November 5th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Julie you are so rad.
If I weren’t queer I wouldn’t totally try to seduce you
November 5th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
*would totally try to seduce you..ha
November 5th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
*Julia*
November 5th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Hey, the stuff about excessively long comments made me think maybe there’s a need for a thingamabob where people could only write, like 139 characters in a message. What? I SAID 139 characters, that’s completely original.
btw I am SO disillusioned that your comic may contain some slight exaggeration or falsehood strictly for artistic reasons…or to get a laugh. What next? Cats don’t eat lasagna?
November 5th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Doesn’t everyone sneak whole meals into the movies?
November 5th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Someone told me a story about a particular incident in which they went to the movies and sat behind a family that brought the INGREDIENTS to make sandwiches. They would whisper things like, “PASS THE MUSTARD.”
November 6th, 2009 at 7:09 am
Every once in a while someone says something that makes me want to tackle them, in a good way. Today, that someone is Julia Wertz.
November 6th, 2009 at 8:55 am
Congratulations, this comic has officially earned you a pseudo-proposition from a drunk queer guy.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Thanks Julia. I’ve spent some time in every city except New York so I’ll try it out.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Since your using Wordpress, check this out: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/gregs-comment-length-limiter/
November 6th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
I’m almost 100% certain I’d pick the pizza/beer party and a kitten. Evvvvvvery tiiiiiime.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Geez what a bunch of long-winded windbags blowing crap that most of wont read. If Julia deletes your comment, its like talking to a wall.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
But, I’m seriously pondering, really? Maybe an occasional pizza orgy *plus* relational happiness against just gluttony eternal pizza/beer happiness? Hmmm… Reflect, that he/she would love you passionately!, no matter what you look like, so, just for your, ha!, “inner values”.
November 8th, 2009 at 8:49 am
I just want everyone to know I tried REALLY hard not to say this, but my melancholic temperament forces me to correct mistakes.
Atheism is an equivalent religion because it was voted as such by a court of law. Atheism requires faith, as there is no concrete, physical evidence that there is, in fact, no God and/or gods. Proving that something doesn’t exist is, by nature, impossible.
I’msorry,don’ttakeitpersonally.
November 8th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Oh man I think I need to see a movie alone like that, it actually looks quite awesome.
Also cats always lend themselves to not ever being called by their names, or some bizarre version of their name.
November 8th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
to bad you don’t live in San Diego or me in ny we would get along just fine.
November 15th, 2009 at 2:36 am
Hi from Jakarta, Indonesia!
Julia, I love your work! its very awe-spiring!
November 17th, 2009 at 3:46 am
this is why i hate comics. basic truths like “there is no god, get on with your fucking life” are still considered crisis-precipitating subjects of debate. what the fuck has sarah palin done to this country?
December 4th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
i loved this!
March 1st, 2010 at 1:36 am
Wow. I just started reading your comics like half an hour ago and this one had me literally crying-laughing. The second last panel was hard to read through my tears. I do the exact same thing, only with my friends. I call them names like ass pirate, or butt buddy, or vag face, or fap hero, or fuck face, and so on in that fashion.
Your comics make me laugh, but your life makes me sad.