work banter


this happened maybe 6 years ago? when my brother worked at the Brainwash cafe/laundromat in San Francisco, which means I spent a disproportionally large amount of my free time hanging out in a laundromat.
What happened at the mall was that once I ate a bunch of pot cookies and decided it would be a good idea to go to the mall (it’s not) because I like those crappy Mrs. Field’s cookies and I really wanted to get the cookie that’s the size of a cake but instead I got lost and couldn’t get out then I cried in the girl’s bathroom. Say no to drugs, kids! And the mall.

Categories: comics

27 thoughts on “work banter”

  1. Is that the place that sometimes has entertainment and comedy shows at it? Also the galleria mall is awful. I don’t understand why tourists come to san francisco to go to the crappy mall and union square that have all the same shitty stores they probably have in their own towns. goddamnit.

  2. *that place being the brain wash

    also once I got high and my asshole friends made me walk to times square and it was up there as one of the worst experiences ever.

  3. oh jesus, that’s the last place I would want to be when high, what a nightmare!
    yeah, that’s brainwash you’re describing. They have music and a comedy open mic night. and crackhead turds

  4. I want to say he grew the mustache anyway. I don’t know why I want to say that.

    What happens to the clothes people leave at the laundromat? I keep finding baby clothes whenever I use the dryer, it’s some kind of punishment. Why do babies get baby socks if they are just going to lose them?

    Baby socks are one of the creepiest articles of clothing ever. And that’s why it’s some kind of universal punishment to start folding your clothes and see one of those little blue or pink cosmic hate-bombs smuggled in with your real socks.

    At least I didn’t find Turds or needles in them. I didn’t check, though.

  5. Hey, Brainwash! My mom took me along to that place a few times when I was a little kid, late 1980’s I believe. I remember it being pretty awesome in a sort of PeeWee Herman Set Design sort of wacky way, with several snuggle bears pinned to the wall in impossibly high places. Kind of blew my young mind.

    I do recall seing a big woman give herself a sort of full-service foot massage in the cafĂ© portion for perhaps an hour, using some lotion or something out of this whole box o’ stuff she had. Completely grossed me out but as a six-year-old I could not stop staring. Crack turds and needles sound plausible, thus.

  6. sorry I missed your reading fundraser thing.. I’m sure it was cool..

    True story.. I lived across from the brainwash for about a month once back in the 90s.. I didn’t find any crackhead turds or needles though (thankfully)..

    I did drink a lot of beer there though…

  7. “Why do babies get baby socks if they are just going to lose them?”

    hahahaha! I have nothing funny to say to that, i just wanted to draw attention to the fact that it’s a hilarious thing to say

  8. that’s the weirdest part- what crackhead pays to have their laundry done? what crackhead even does laundry? but they’re out there, they exist, and my brother had to shake little turds out of their underwear

  9. One of them even left him a tip! haha oh man
    Wait. How do they pay for this? The more I think about crackheads doing laundry, the more improbable it seems, unless they’re high profile crackheads that are used to this kind of lifestyle.

  10. How do you shit your pants and not know? I mean i’ve been ungodly levels of shit-faced , but c’mon man. At least the crackheads in LA have the decency of wearing their shit slacks.

  11. OMG someone spelled concentrated wrong on the internets!

    Missy, that’s -3 internets for you! Go stand in the corner!

  12. I grew a shitty mustache once since that is the only kind of mustache that grows on my face. Fortunately, I came to my senses and shaved it off after a few weeks. Interestingly enough, I can grow a decently heavy beard otherwise…maybe when I want to freak out my neighbors I’ll go for the Amish look somewhere down the line.

  13. I understand Chuck, I also have problems …connecting. My mustache and beard are separated by years of thoughtful pose, placing forefinger on one side and thumb on the opposite of my mouth has reduced the ability to grow facial hair on those valid points.

    And then I realized I didn’t care. I grew myself a disjointed beard and mustache. Fuck people for looking at me and not liking what they see. Point is, if you can manage it, grow it.

    Growing stuff with other people in mind only works for plants/vegetables, animals, and poison. If you don’t think you can manage something you grow, don’t bother growing balls either. No offense intended.

    Forgot to say, I like the comic. I like these comics considerably more than the squirrel crosswalk one.

  14. 1. The word Galleria is awesome because it always makes me think, “oh my god, the Mall…it’s giving me a really bad case of Galleria”

    2. I live in SF and I’ve heard TWO separate accounts of people seeing a bum shit their pants while walking and then shake the turd out of their pant leg and onto the sidewalk. America’s Got Talent!

    3. Why is there so much human shit in the Mission? What is it about SF? Other towns have homeless people, but far less poop on the ground. Can anyone explain?

  15. Maybe in that area one bum saw another bum take a shit on the sidewalk and went “Hey! If he’s allowed to shit on the street I should too!” and another bum saw him do it and emulated him and so on and so on.

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