I always got “musician” on those tests too. You would think that, you know, being able to sing or play an instrument would be more important than my personality type for that particular career. But your “had I been more disciplined” comment is hilarious because that’s always how I’ve felt about those tests; they’re just rubbing it in your face that you’re not an archeologist-adventurer or rock star or supreme court justice or whatever. Fuckers.
I always hated those tests, and never did do anything they suggested. In face, I didn’t do anything with my fancy-smancy college degree either, so there you go.
I think those tests are just to put people in boxes, something you can’t do with someone like you.
I was told I would be a pewterer. I had no idea what that meant. For some reason when I looked it up I thought it was just the guy who made those dumb metal dragon toys that D&D nerds play with. I was pissed.
Yeah I’m with Matt. We never got those tests and I thought they only existed as humorous plot points in movies and sitcoms. Did they give you Meyers-Briggs tests too?
oh they exist, and they’re hilarious. I always come up with things that aren’t too far off from what I do, but then there’s the ubiquitous “craft” one like bricklayer or carpenter or set builder. What? I can barely even lift bricks.
Sarah- I went to public schools so the myers-briggs test was assumed to be too far over our heads. “if we give then that test we’ll have to explain who Carl Jung is and that’s college’s job, not ours.” and for the record, I’ve taken that stupid test a couple of times and I always come up with “expressed introvert” which sounds spot on to me.
We got to do the test on computer, which was way novel at the time. The program suggested that like half of our class should become architects. The irony was not lost on us.
We also took these tests in sophomore year. I got pharmacologist, which isn’t far off what I’m pursuing, but my friend was less than thrilled when his top result was “midwife”.
In the ninth grade, my results were taxi driver and/or lumberjack. I still think they mixed up my test with André’s test (no, really). I remember being really upset.
From grade 10 and on I kept getting writer, journalist or artist - which isn’t that far off from what I’m doing now. Still not sure why we had to take the damn test every year until graduation . . . There you go, my two cents!
Mine told me that I want to be a junkie when I grow up. I didn’t know what a junkie was. Okay, none of that’s true.
But I remember being convinced when I was about six years old that I was going to be a professional ‘Battleship’ player when I grew up. September 9th, 1985, fleet commander Fancy Pants fires the shot that sinks his brother’s destroyer. This glorious moment is remembered as the last time Fancy pants was allowed in his brother’s room.
Then ‘Electronic Battleship’ came along and my skilled trade became obsolete.
nice! And thanks Judas, yes, I thought about this but couldn’t remember ever taking one of them. I guess it was just not something the nuns and priests were into.
I actually have experience with puppetry, having pet on shows with my family for children’s shelters and nursing homes. We would spend evenings listening to tapes to pantomime with our arms up on the air and five pound weights on our wrists.
I was the voice of an effeminate southern cat named Jaspurr Honeysuckle, and I did mental magic tricks like the Vulcan Cards.
But then they asked that we provide a urine test before each show, and we quit. We never did any drugs, but goddammit that’s just bullshit and we were not going to stoop to babysitting for half an hour while they don’t do their jobs for forty-five minutes AND we have to prove we’re sober.
We hat baseball hats and everything. I hate my hometown. And I still feel sorry for those kids and those elderly folks, but I can’t pee in a cup for them.
anyhoo, Julia, that last panel makes me think that Orson bean has a small door he’d like you to see. Ah, not a short joke.
great comic! i always ended up getting either the job title “musician” or “Lawnmower” which apparently is a legitimate career that one can keep year long. the traveling lawnmower chronicles oh the adventures I could have had. sadly I have chosen musician and will never know the glories of lawnmowing.
Curiously, I just saw the Malcolm in the Middle episode where Malcolm’s test says he’s equally suited to every possible career in the world - plunging him into deep anxiety about which to choose.
Well, actually, my son watched it, while I cooked dinner. But I caught that one moment, and it made me laugh.
Like Sarah, I never imagined people actually still inflicted these things on kids outside of sitcoms… Jeepers!
Lazlo H.: The ironic part was the societal implication of anything more than a minuscule proportion of an age group pursuing a career in architecture. This was a public (rough analogue of a) junior high school in rural Finland.
J.C. Frankie is right… Those panels look sorta like bricks… Your puppets are like, inside the bricks… Wow, that’s kinda freaky that they were able to guess your future.
P.s. Don’t be a teacher. You’ll never get a job. A prof once told me in teacher’s college ‘Sweetie, you’re a dime a dozen.’ At least no one can ever say that to you.
lauren, I beg to differ. I think there are thousands, probably millions, of cartoonists who could say that to me. And behind every puppet master, there is yet another giant puppet master and since I don’t believe in God, I’m assuming mine takes the form of a whiskey bottle.
That Pooka- chill the fuck out, no one cares about your typos.
I took one of those in HS. I got ‘computers’ and ‘librarian’ back. Nothing too surprising as I was into programming by then.
The funny part is that in College I got a job as library assistant, in order to get my foot in the door for a programming job (developing the library’s website).
Well, I think it’s humorous…
?They will be “besides themselves” and “just not all there” — as if something, or someone, has taken away the essence of who they are. Not feeling like themselves, the ENFP will become subject to their own feelings of shame for being a phony, a fake or an impostor. If stress continues to grow, they may attribute malevolent schemes to others in order to explain away their fears.”
Career choice? Clergy.
That test made my day. I always knew I could be the pope.
oh man, we took this in jr. high (while everyone else in a real school with more than a $5 budget per year was playing oregon trail, i imagine) and everyone got “logger.”
seriously.
yep, totally cut out for…cutting trees? moving…logs? right. awesome.
also…great. so drunk i’m bothering to reply on a comic that was probably posted forever ago. been going through the archives after a friend sent me the link about a month ago. my favorite self descriptor remains the cartoon where you stab yourself in the eye and are just all “whatever.” my bff (yeah i said bff, whatever) and i call this “the zen of meh” which we live by. the end.
Huh, I’m not the only one reading through the archives and wanting to comment on an old comic. My sister took the test and got ‘undertaker’, supposedly because of her people skills.
I took one of those tests last year and the results were hilarious. Mainly because of how random and unrelated they were. I don’t remember all of them, but there was beekeeper and tow truck driver, alongside stuff like hairstylist and vet.
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March 16th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I always got “musician” on those tests too. You would think that, you know, being able to sing or play an instrument would be more important than my personality type for that particular career. But your “had I been more disciplined” comment is hilarious because that’s always how I’ve felt about those tests; they’re just rubbing it in your face that you’re not an archeologist-adventurer or rock star or supreme court justice or whatever. Fuckers.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:46 am
You could stretch the point and say your panels are like metaphorical bricks, stacked up all nice and square!
March 16th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I always hated those tests, and never did do anything they suggested. In face, I didn’t do anything with my fancy-smancy college degree either, so there you go.
I think those tests are just to put people in boxes, something you can’t do with someone like you.
March 16th, 2009 at 9:35 am
My dad’s test told him should be an accountant or a forest ranger.
March 16th, 2009 at 11:07 am
They test you over a range of skills, and choose the one you do best at.
My last one had eight areas, and I scored equal in six of them and one below the rest in the other two.
Since the areas I’ve done best at (tech writer) didn’t exist when I was younger, I don’t give a Flying Wallenda about what they recommend.
March 16th, 2009 at 11:44 am
deet.
March 16th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I didn’t know those tests existed past, like, the 50’s! I wonder what I’d have gotten on one…
March 16th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I was told I would be a pewterer. I had no idea what that meant. For some reason when I looked it up I thought it was just the guy who made those dumb metal dragon toys that D&D nerds play with. I was pissed.
March 16th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Yeah I’m with Matt. We never got those tests and I thought they only existed as humorous plot points in movies and sitcoms. Did they give you Meyers-Briggs tests too?
March 16th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
We were never given those tests in the Catholic schools I attended. I guess they just assumed we were destined to become unskilled laborers/breeders.
March 16th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
oh they exist, and they’re hilarious. I always come up with things that aren’t too far off from what I do, but then there’s the ubiquitous “craft” one like bricklayer or carpenter or set builder. What? I can barely even lift bricks.
Sarah- I went to public schools so the myers-briggs test was assumed to be too far over our heads. “if we give then that test we’ll have to explain who Carl Jung is and that’s college’s job, not ours.” and for the record, I’ve taken that stupid test a couple of times and I always come up with “expressed introvert” which sounds spot on to me.
March 16th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Man, it’s easy to become a puppeteer. Just get a Muppet and set up a youtube channel… http://www.youtube.com/lorempuppet
March 16th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
We got to do the test on computer, which was way novel at the time. The program suggested that like half of our class should become architects. The irony was not lost on us.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
We also took these tests in sophomore year. I got pharmacologist, which isn’t far off what I’m pursuing, but my friend was less than thrilled when his top result was “midwife”.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
i got ship’s captain. i hope it comes about somehow.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
In the ninth grade, my results were taxi driver and/or lumberjack. I still think they mixed up my test with André’s test (no, really). I remember being really upset.
From grade 10 and on I kept getting writer, journalist or artist - which isn’t that far off from what I’m doing now. Still not sure why we had to take the damn test every year until graduation . . . There you go, my two cents!
March 16th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Mine told me that I want to be a junkie when I grow up. I didn’t know what a junkie was. Okay, none of that’s true.
But I remember being convinced when I was about six years old that I was going to be a professional ‘Battleship’ player when I grew up. September 9th, 1985, fleet commander Fancy Pants fires the shot that sinks his brother’s destroyer. This glorious moment is remembered as the last time Fancy pants was allowed in his brother’s room.
Then ‘Electronic Battleship’ came along and my skilled trade became obsolete.
March 16th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
nice! And thanks Judas, yes, I thought about this but couldn’t remember ever taking one of them. I guess it was just not something the nuns and priests were into.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
@ Tapio P.: “The program suggested that like half of our class should become architects. The irony was not lost on us.”
What was the ironic part? Was your class decimated by the collapse of a poorly-designed schoolhouse?
March 16th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I actually have experience with puppetry, having pet on shows with my family for children’s shelters and nursing homes. We would spend evenings listening to tapes to pantomime with our arms up on the air and five pound weights on our wrists.
I was the voice of an effeminate southern cat named Jaspurr Honeysuckle, and I did mental magic tricks like the Vulcan Cards.
But then they asked that we provide a urine test before each show, and we quit. We never did any drugs, but goddammit that’s just bullshit and we were not going to stoop to babysitting for half an hour while they don’t do their jobs for forty-five minutes AND we have to prove we’re sober.
We hat baseball hats and everything. I hate my hometown. And I still feel sorry for those kids and those elderly folks, but I can’t pee in a cup for them.
anyhoo, Julia, that last panel makes me think that Orson bean has a small door he’d like you to see. Ah, not a short joke.
March 16th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Wow, that was considerably more typos than I thought.
“pet” = “put”
“on the air” = “in the air”
“hat baseball hats” = “had baseball hats”
And “anyhoo” should be capitalized.
I still hate my hometown, was voice of a cat puppet, and was referencing Being John Malkovich.
March 16th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
great comic! i always ended up getting either the job title “musician” or “Lawnmower” which apparently is a legitimate career that one can keep year long. the traveling lawnmower chronicles oh the adventures I could have had. sadly I have chosen musician and will never know the glories of lawnmowing.
March 17th, 2009 at 4:05 am
Curiously, I just saw the Malcolm in the Middle episode where Malcolm’s test says he’s equally suited to every possible career in the world - plunging him into deep anxiety about which to choose.
Well, actually, my son watched it, while I cooked dinner. But I caught that one moment, and it made me laugh.
Like Sarah, I never imagined people actually still inflicted these things on kids outside of sitcoms… Jeepers!
March 17th, 2009 at 4:28 am
Lazlo H.: The ironic part was the societal implication of anything more than a minuscule proportion of an age group pursuing a career in architecture. This was a public (rough analogue of a) junior high school in rural Finland.
March 17th, 2009 at 5:29 am
I just tok an online one now at http://www.careertest.net the results are resoundingly LAAAAME. I’m not sure that some of these do count as jobs:
Pedagogue
Jornalist
Field Marshall
Inventor
Entertainer
Seller
Author
Questor
Trustee
PS I currently work in a bank and spend at least two hours per day reading web comics
March 17th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I’d really like to know what your post-high-school fast track to a puppetry career was supposed to have looked like.
March 17th, 2009 at 10:16 am
J.C. Frankie is right… Those panels look sorta like bricks… Your puppets are like, inside the bricks… Wow, that’s kinda freaky that they were able to guess your future.
March 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
thanks Col! Cool test!
Jobs suggested to me were more, specific.
March 17th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
ouch, teachers DO need a college degree, and even more school AFTER college!
March 17th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
fzck you thaaam, you elitist prick, landscaping is an honorable trade.
March 17th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
It’s like that word, either epihany, or appifffany
Like, you know.
March 19th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Oh my dear, we are all puppets. If you are the puppet master, then you are ahead of us all.
March 19th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
P.s. Don’t be a teacher. You’ll never get a job. A prof once told me in teacher’s college ‘Sweetie, you’re a dime a dozen.’ At least no one can ever say that to you.
March 19th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
lauren, I beg to differ. I think there are thousands, probably millions, of cartoonists who could say that to me. And behind every puppet master, there is yet another giant puppet master and since I don’t believe in God, I’m assuming mine takes the form of a whiskey bottle.
That Pooka- chill the fuck out, no one cares about your typos.
March 20th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I took one of those in HS. I got ‘computers’ and ‘librarian’ back. Nothing too surprising as I was into programming by then.
The funny part is that in College I got a job as library assistant, in order to get my foot in the door for a programming job (developing the library’s website).
Well, I think it’s humorous…
March 21st, 2009 at 9:32 pm
?They will be “besides themselves” and “just not all there” — as if something, or someone, has taken away the essence of who they are. Not feeling like themselves, the ENFP will become subject to their own feelings of shame for being a phony, a fake or an impostor. If stress continues to grow, they may attribute malevolent schemes to others in order to explain away their fears.”
Career choice? Clergy.
That test made my day. I always knew I could be the pope.
March 22nd, 2009 at 2:05 am
what do bricks and fat chicks have in common???
… they both get laid by mexicans
October 8th, 2009 at 1:28 am
oh man, we took this in jr. high (while everyone else in a real school with more than a $5 budget per year was playing oregon trail, i imagine) and everyone got “logger.”
seriously.
yep, totally cut out for…cutting trees? moving…logs? right. awesome.
October 8th, 2009 at 1:30 am
also…great. so drunk i’m bothering to reply on a comic that was probably posted forever ago. been going through the archives after a friend sent me the link about a month ago. my favorite self descriptor remains the cartoon where you stab yourself in the eye and are just all “whatever.” my bff (yeah i said bff, whatever) and i call this “the zen of meh” which we live by. the end.
October 12th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Huh, I’m not the only one reading through the archives and wanting to comment on an old comic. My sister took the test and got ‘undertaker’, supposedly because of her people skills.
Great comic! I’m enjoying reading through it all!
December 7th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
This page makes me more blue than any others
March 11th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
mine always came up as ’scientist’ or ‘mathematician’ and i love those. yay!!
March 2nd, 2011 at 12:23 am
I took one of those tests last year and the results were hilarious. Mainly because of how random and unrelated they were. I don’t remember all of them, but there was beekeeper and tow truck driver, alongside stuff like hairstylist and vet.