on the radio

30 Comments

last friday I recorded a lil’ thing on WNYC about I Saw You…and it’s weird because in my head, I sound like an old man who’s been smoking his breakfast for the last 50 years, but then when I listened to it, I was like “what the…I sound like a lady, like a real, grown up lady!” And then I got all weirded out because I still always feel like a little kid, so I was like “what am I? an old man or a little kid? I don’t wanna be a lady!” and then I was all “oh good, I’m only on the radio for about two minutes.” And then I got over the whole thing and I ordered Chinese takeout but for some reason I did it in a Scottish accent. It just came out that way.

Categories: comics

30 thoughts on “on the radio”

  1. I once temped as a receptionist for a switchboard where I was answering the phone for about twenty different companies. Basically, every time the phone rang, the computer would light up telling me what company they were calling for and what I was supposed to say. After about an hour of this I decided the only way I could possibly keep my sanity was to answer each company’s phone in a different accent — Scottish, high-class British, Australian, Cockney, comical German, etc.

    Calling in your Chinese food order in a Scottish accent is totally normal is what I’m trying to say.

  2. good to know! I actually didn’t feel all THAT weird that I did that because sometimes I read books out loud to myself in a Scottish accent, but I don’t normally do it to the poor lady at Fortune Palace, the best Chinese food to take out! or dine in! It is neither, yet all Chinese restaurants everywhere claim that.

  3. Great interview, you. I totally agree with your views on “dating.” I will only get involved with someone I already know really well, which limits my options, but definitely weeds out the potential stalkers/losers/other inappropriate possibilities.

  4. i am a Disc Jockey and this happens nearly every time in an interview. i usually tell the person i am recording but don
    t record for the first few questions and ask very silly questions like “how often do you fart?” or “who is the most famous person you have ever insulted?” just to trick them into being comfortable.

  5. I think you did a great job! I’ve said it before: you are really good at representing your work in person! You are smart, articulate, and very funny. You would be good on a talkshow.

  6. And your voice sounds EXACTLY like the voice of a girl I work with! I mean…wow, it’s weird! Of course, it’s pointless for me to mention it, but I had to tell someone.

  7. bryan- what you should do is tell them you’re NOT recording. My friend Sarah was filming some of us being dumbasses at her apartment once, and we were only funny when she told us she was no longer video taping us. Although I guess in a real studio all those “on air” lights might give it away, but they, people are retarded, it just might work.
    btw- our videoed show is called “Speedball” and involves me, Austin and Aaron sitting on the couch and fake interviewing nobody. It’s going to change the world. Or not, since it’ll never be seen. But oh, the possibilities…

  8. Lol hell I can!!! Thats our Julia!

    Ah bag of wet dicks. what an atrociously amazing phrase

    reminds me of one i learned yesterday lol Fart Chimney

    I think you should make an english style comic and call it that hahaha

    like Burt from Mary Poppins!! but with your style of humor

    Chim chimeny, chim chimeny, chim chim, cheree
    Dont piss me off or on the count of three
    Chim chimeny, chim chimeny, chim chim, cheroo
    I’ll take a crap, all over you

  9. @ jfruh – Have you read picturesforsadchildren.com? It’s a web comic where the main character does exactly the job you explained. I thought it was fake but apparently real people do it too.

    Yeah, hearing your own voice recorded is always weird. Mine sounds way more nasely than it sounds to me when I’m talking. You did a good job of not saying too many ums or ers, that always kills me.

    Also, sounding 10 pounds fatter. Love that. I just picture a person talking with a mouth full of gravy.

  10. Was this radio appearance part of the efforts in promoting the book? Organized efforts by your publisher or agent, that is. I’ve also seen the book mentioned in Nylon magazine. I think the book deserves greater media attention and coverage.

  11. Holy crap! I used to listen to Benjamen Walker when he produced Your Radio Night Light Boston College radio ten years ago! This is like two people I think are awesome wanting to be friends with me in a dream!

    Damn I’m lonely.

  12. I love the book. I was very surprised to be able to find it, since I live in Michigan. But low and behold, it was just chilling on a humor display table at my local Borders. I believe I said the word “Shazam!” quite loud…..

  13. What I found out yesterday is that those of us who work on the radio (at least me) can’t turn the “radio voice” off sometimes… I speak a little differently for NPR than my “normal voice” (cause I’m a quiet, mumbling fool usually and that wouldn’t really do well to keep my job), and now any time I’m reading something out loud – as I did yesterday in class, we were discussing our senior exhibition artist statements – it just comes out as Radio Colin. My friend kept giving me shit cause I used the radio voice, as though I was trying to show off or something… I can’t turn it off! I don’t try to, it just happens!. My voicemail message is the same way… Although that said, a few people said I should just stand around at the exhibition show and read everyone’s statements out loud, haha.

  14. I sent the missed connections blog link to a few media outlets that cover pop culture (and, unlike the “aloof” Nylon and Booklist, their websites are accessible to all, so linking would be possible). I hope it’ll result in some interest, but there’s no guarantee. I’m just a pipsqueak in PR. And, I’d rather be a quiet reader of the Fart Party.

  15. I have read some of the missed connections on Flickr, but it has been a while(and the stalker strip you read on the air was one of the very creepy ones, considering I have met people like that. . . still gives me the shudders to remember them). I rather enjoyed hearing what you sound like when you talk. You have a good voice. nothing like what you have described how you thought it sounded like. But yes, definitely very lady like. Did they do the follow up from the page they wrote about? I did not look further, but am curious, and short as ever on time to explore (I know keep my personal life out of it:-)

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