Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
some funny news
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January 28th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Fuck you. Now I want pizza, and I had kinda promised myself to eat proper food today. Mmmm, pizza…
January 28th, 2009 at 8:37 am
sexy
January 28th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Haha! Squirrel crosswalk! I remember that. But the other note…are you going to make a MLK comic?
January 28th, 2009 at 9:40 am
for what it’s worth, I haven’t shaved my legs since the first time I wore a skirt.
January 28th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Trying only sets up failure and who wants to deal with failure. Stay home.
January 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Wow, 4 whole comments so far and none of them are “I’d still bone you”?
Did the internet get laid last night or something?
January 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Vegetables shouldn’t make you that sick! You should look into seeing a doctor for food allergies. I thought I had chronic depression until I discovered that I was allergic to gluten. It made a big difference in my life, I just wish I’d realized it sooner.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:03 am
I would bone this black and white two dimensional character.
(thought I would step up and keep it realz on the world wide web)
January 28th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Holy cow I think you’re my soulmate. I would do a play-by-play (balls, favorite expression of angst; hairy legs; beer and 30 rock) but you probably don’t care. Still: soulmates.
January 28th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
This comic cheered me up a lot because I’ve been having a lonely, depressive kind of month/decade. So then what do I do? I read the last two weeks of Mallard Fillmore for no goddamned reason. This is why I can’t have nice feelings.
January 28th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Why did you throw away the delicious looking albino pineapple for a slice of boring pizza?
January 28th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
MAN… if i had the shits and was stuck in a train…. my face would look WAY more panicky than that… and my palms would be sweatier.
January 28th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
mmmm albino pineapple
January 28th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
30 Rock on the computer?? What website can I watch 30 Rock at Wertz!!??!
Hulu only has a few episodes…
January 28th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
not MLK.
That looks like MILK, like she was going to buy some milk or go see “Milk” or milk a cow or…
January 28th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I loooove not shaving my legs for long periods of time! You can feel the breeze blow through your hair as you walk. Sexy.
January 28th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Oh, baybee!
Seriousness aside, I think it should be the prerogative of all us creative weirdo types to look like shit if we want to. I’m already cranky enough without having to deal with stupid crap like neckties, socks & hairstyles, and slob couture is comfy, dammit!
First post, probably last, but I love da comeek.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
this is exactly how i look now/all the time, but fatter and with more stretch marks.
and doctor who is on the computer.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
I’m glad I’m not alone.
January 28th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Bah! I only opened the comments section to see the losers who would say they still want to bone you in the hopes that you will think it is endearing. Thanks for disappointing me assholes!
I blame you for this Julia. (Ever since you let them in on how pathetic it is, the toadying has plummeted!)
January 28th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
hooray! lemon party! hooray!
January 29th, 2009 at 1:40 am
julia, you’ve worked in restaurants, you know that properly washing your veg will clear up getting the shits from eating veg. it’s all those damn pesticides that resides on the skins of things.
January 29th, 2009 at 5:45 am
In respect to your veggi-induced shits: You probably got a case of fructose-malabsorbation. Its actually pretty common but rarely discovered.
January 29th, 2009 at 8:45 am
[...] will say it again, Julia Wertz is my [...]
January 29th, 2009 at 9:02 am
oh for fucks sake, I don’t have a shitting problem, it’s from the fiber in vegetables, makes me shit like it does every single person in the world.
my intention was to kill the whole “i’d bone you” thing so if I succeeded then fucking hurray!
January 29th, 2009 at 10:28 am
I’d bone you
January 29th, 2009 at 11:16 am
I am an internet doctor, and my diagnosis is that you have irritable random medical advice syndrome, which is a pain in the ass and causes the shits. It is complicated by squirrel crosstalk.
January 29th, 2009 at 11:36 am
OHHHHHHHHH, V-EEEE-G! Not V-A-G.
I have never, ever seen someone shorten vegetables to veg before in normal speech. Veggies, sure. But when I saw “washing your veg, clean your veg” I was wondering what the fuck that could possibly have to do with needing to poop.
All I knew was that at many restaurants the front of the house basically fucks the back of the house, and maybe there was some restaurant borne vag-poop disease I’d never heard of.
January 29th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Bahah! Good timing! Just when I was having one of those ‘women suck’, frustrated weeks & getting cranky; something had to remind me they’re not all intolerable, obnoxious, self obsessed robots and that some might actually be human and even endearing.
I remain skeptical however.
January 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
no single girl shaves in january. it is unheard of.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
“no single girl shaves in january. it is unheard of.”
funny thing is we all still shave our armpits. It’s everything below the belt that’s off the clock.
“I was having one of those ‘women suck’, frustrated weeks & getting cranky; something had to remind me they’re not all intolerable, obnoxious, self obsessed robots and that some might actually be human and even endearing.”
I am failing to see how this intolerable, obnoxious, self absorbed comic has in any way rekindled your faith in women. Is it opposite day? fuck, why didn’t anyone tell me?! I’m always looking for an excuse to wear my pants backwards. That way I’d have more room to carry stuff in my pockets, although I’m not sure the wedgie would be worth it. ugh i’m drunk.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
“ugh i’m drunk.” and I’m jealous…still working for another 2 hours.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Rekindled? Nope. Faith? Never. It’s a cute comic, not a born again baptism.
January 29th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
So in winter girls stop trying to look like pre-pubescnent 12 year olds?
Looks like I need to date in winter.
January 29th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
or just date someone who worries about more important things year-round, yeah!
January 29th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
The armpit shaving thing is so true! But I disagree that you have to be single to be hairy. Any dude who can’t take a little stubble from time to time can suck it.
January 29th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
amen, sister.
January 29th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
If I were 20 years younger, you’d be the woman of my dreams. I hope that’s not too creepy.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
LOL! Matt!
and yes, any guy who finds it so terribly disgusting that a woman has leg hair in the winter is too wussified.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Pizza has a lot of the food groups. Like dairy.. and crust.
January 29th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Woooo testify!
January 30th, 2009 at 6:52 am
i’d still bone you, yeti legs.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:25 am
It’s quick, easy, and satisfying to shave your armpits. Legs are a different story. I’ve been shaving for like ten years, and I still nick myself every goddamn time.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Dude, how the fuck did you get milk on your hand? Btw, I think we are the same person.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:27 am
i love how everyone is diagnosing you. by the way, that’s celery,you fuckwits, not an albino pineapple…(isn’t it?)
February 1st, 2009 at 2:09 pm
You think eating veggies is bad, go vegetarian and add a serious dose of soy to your diet. that will fuck with your lower intestinal tract!
February 13th, 2009 at 2:25 am
i let my leg hair grow ridiculously long in the winter too! it’s my winter coat to keep me warm.
February 18th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
my personal goal is to not shave until the next time i see a beach, which, given my current state and situation, probably won’t be until 2030 when the ocean comes to meet me.
April 9th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
i’m rocking that look till midsummer!
July 8th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
For the hair thing try this - buy a plastic spray bottle at the dollar store and the cheapest conditioner you can find (Cheap conditioners tend to leave residue so they are the best for this). squirt about 1/4-1/2 cup conditioner into the bottle, add 1 tsp cooking oil, & a squirt of lemon juice - then fill it up the rest of the way with warm water. Shake shake shake. Next time its humid out spray it on everywhere but the roots. I also recommend buying headbands. Not only do they make you feel like Alice on her way to wonderland but I don’t even brush my hair half the time and it still always looks cute.
September 4th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Maaan living the healthy lifestyle is a crock of shit. Lazyness and tasty food is the way to go. Whatever happened to the days of wild hedonism, anyway?
Also, 30 Rock? Awesome!
December 13th, 2009 at 2:33 am
I do the same thing, only my “boyfriend” finds it hott. O_o
March 30th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
woohoo, fan service!
lauren: if it were celery, shouldn’t there be panties on the floor?
August 21st, 2010 at 12:38 pm
[...] will say it again, Julia Wertz is my [...]