http://juliawertz.com/2009/01/05/if-i-could-i-would/ an autobiographical comic updated infrequently Thu, 17 May 2012 02:38:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 http://juliawertz.com/2009/01/05/if-i-could-i-would/#comment-301788 Secret Acres is the Best! « Secret Acres News Wed, 03 Nov 2010 17:18:03 +0000 http://www.fartparty.org/?p=1318#comment-301788 [...] persuasion: Kate Beaton, Lisa Hanawalt, Minty Lewis, Corinne Mucha, Laura Park, Gabrielle Bell, Julia Wertz, Rutu Modan, Melissa Mendes, Lynda Barry, Leslie Anne Mackenzie Stein, Lilli Carre, Sarah Glidden, [...] [...] persuasion: Kate Beaton, Lisa Hanawalt, Minty Lewis, Corinne Mucha, Laura Park, Gabrielle Bell, Julia Wertz, Rutu Modan, Melissa Mendes, Lynda Barry, Leslie Anne Mackenzie Stein, Lilli Carre, Sarah Glidden, [...]

]]> http://juliawertz.com/2009/01/05/if-i-could-i-would/#comment-285329 Antiquated Tory Sat, 24 Jul 2010 16:39:36 +0000 http://www.fartparty.org/?p=1318#comment-285329 Sometimes a person would rather be left alone in their general unhappiness than have someone get all sparkly and trite and "Just cheer up!" in their face. Here's a clue: If all it took to be happy were to "just cheer up," we'd all be f&*^ing happy! It certainly merits fantasizing about taking a 12-bore to Mr/Ms Cheery, if not actually doing so. I don't think a random, badly expressed "I'd bone you" does much for lack of partner/low self-image, either. Gee, thanks, creepy person! Here's another clue: Anyone can get laid if they have the stomach for it. It merely requires getting drunk in a place with other drunk people who are similarly unattached and of the preferred gender and orientation, and a bit of shamelessness. And not caring too much about the details of whom one is laying. Some people can do this, some cannot. Having said all this, I would gladly have a drink with Julia in any of several establishments in several countries which I think would be to her taste. (The establishments, if not the countries.) And I think she and my wife would get on, as my wife is 4'11", can curse like a sailor, was a lonely and unpopular kid who read all the time, writes, and spends at least 5 hours a day on the internet. Sometimes a person would rather be left alone in their general unhappiness than have someone get all sparkly and trite and “Just cheer up!” in their face. Here’s a clue: If all it took to be happy were to “just cheer up,” we’d all be f&*^ing happy!
It certainly merits fantasizing about taking a 12-bore to Mr/Ms Cheery, if not actually doing so.
I don’t think a random, badly expressed “I’d bone you” does much for lack of partner/low self-image, either. Gee, thanks, creepy person! Here’s another clue: Anyone can get laid if they have the stomach for it. It merely requires getting drunk in a place with other drunk people who are similarly unattached and of the preferred gender and orientation, and a bit of shamelessness. And not caring too much about the details of whom one is laying. Some people can do this, some cannot.
Having said all this, I would gladly have a drink with Julia in any of several establishments in several countries which I think would be to her taste. (The establishments, if not the countries.) And I think she and my wife would get on, as my wife is 4′11″, can curse like a sailor, was a lonely and unpopular kid who read all the time, writes, and spends at least 5 hours a day on the internet.

]]> http://juliawertz.com/2009/01/05/if-i-could-i-would/#comment-275263 Tamfang Tue, 30 Mar 2010 21:10:24 +0000 http://www.fartparty.org/?p=1318#comment-275263 I bet you can carry all the guns you like on a private plane. I bet you can carry all the guns you like on a private plane.

]]> http://juliawertz.com/2009/01/05/if-i-could-i-would/#comment-271455 Zischkale Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:41:13 +0000 http://www.fartparty.org/?p=1318#comment-271455 Bring it the fuck on. Bring it the fuck on.

]]> http://juliawertz.com/2009/01/05/if-i-could-i-would/#comment-239278 Orin J. Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:10:43 +0000 http://www.fartparty.org/?p=1318#comment-239278 rippng off Jay and Silent Bob strike back eh? hot. rippng off Jay and Silent Bob strike back eh? hot.

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