readers needed, dumbasses need not apply
Friday, March 28th, 2008If you’re a newer reader, you might not know that before I moved to the east coast, my mom was a prominent character in Fart Party. She often appeared in the comic, such as here and here.
I’m going to include a section where readers can ask my mom whatever they want, but please think about it before you leave a comment/question and try not to ask obvious or duplicate questions. And keep in mind that my mom will be reading this forum, so watch yer language, shitheads!
March 28th, 2008 at 9:32 am
How do you like Julia’s comics?
Do you think that drawing comics is a good occupation?
What did you imagine Julia would take up once she grew up? Architecture, Firewoman, Lawyer, Comics Artist?
Would you consider yourself a MILF?
March 28th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Dear the elder Mrs. Wertz,
Why doesn’t your daughter use hyperlinks correctly? She should know that she could contextually link phrases like “often appeared” and “in the comic” to your prior appearences, instead of inserting useless non-idiomatic ‘here’ hyperlinks. Seriously. The blog text photoshop-typset into the comic image is also useless of her.
Passive-Aggressively yours,
Fred
March 28th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Hey there, Julia! I’ve been reading your comics for awhile, and I enjoy your mom’s appearances there-in. I’m not sure what you’re looking for as far as questions are concerned. Since yer comix are autobiogramifamical, does that mean the questions should be too? Or should we just ask about life and the mysteries of the universe? In any case, here are questions for those two categories.
Autobiogramathematical: 1. Dear Julia’s mom, what is your first recollection of Julia drawing a comic? Have any made you wince? Which was the first to make you wince?
2. Do you ever watch HBO or R-rated movies with your grown kids, and, if so, is it ever uncomfortable? (I’ve watched a lot of Six Feet Under with my folks. Awkward.)
And if you’re looking for general questions:
1. I was thinking about getting a hedgehog. Do they make good pets? How do I convince my girlfriend that we should get one?
2. When shopping for a handgun, do you value reloading speed over stopping power? Or the opposite?
3. Orangina or San Pelligrino?
4. Liam Nieeson or Leslie Nielsen?
Thank you, and I look forward to your answers.
March 28th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Dear Julia’s Mom,
If you were to pinpoint the exact moment you knew Julia was destined to create lude and immensely entertaining comics, what moment would this be?
or
What is your favourite comic that you star in?
March 28th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
1. What’s the toughest thing you’ve had to do as a Mom (in general or specifically for Julie)
2. Can you think of any particular event or series of events that helped shape Julie’s sense of humor.
3. It seems from the way you’re written about in the comic that you have a pretty good rapport with your kids (better than many parents and their adult children). Is this easy or hard for you to do? What makes it easier or harder?
4. What’s your favourite comic?
March 28th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
1. What were you like in your early twenties? What were you doing?
2. Like your kids, are you a big lover of cheese?
3. Have you ever smoked pot? Tell us about it.
March 28th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
My question:
There’s often a perpection that creative endeavours somehow don’t count as ‘real’ work, or that they’re not worth pursuing if you can’t make a fortune out of them. Have you ever been tempted to suggest that Julia go for a nice, safe (for which read, dreary) career in accountancy or insurance or something similar?
March 28th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
These are real boring because I am old and extremely not hip or clever.
1. As a parent, kids do things or make things that can touch your heart without them really knowing how greatly it affects you. What did Julia say, do or make (like a dumb picture of a turkey made from a handprint for Thanksgiving) that really made you stop and go, “aahhh, how sweet was that?” I know Julia can get embarassed with revelations of her sweetness or kindness, so fell free to sugar it up as much as you can.
2. What were the greatest challenges as a single parent (I am assuming this is the case…forgive if I got this wrong) of raising three very busy kids?
3.If you could do it all over again, what you do different?
4. What kind of music do you like (even that which drives your children mad)?
5. I used to love SPAM as a kid, now I can’t look at a can without a grimace. What was Julia’s favorite food growing up? What do you fix for her now when she visits?
6. Favorite books?
March 28th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
In her comics, your daughter talks about her favorite things alot, and as a result, if I were to say “Beer, cheese, whiskey, and comics” to anyone who’d read her comics, they’d know immediately I was talking about her. What would that list be for you? Do you have any tastes/loves so strong others could identify you by them?
March 28th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Julia,
I think it is cool that your Mom reads your strip, so my question would be, has she always read it? Did you ever try to hide it from her, or did you have a hard time getting her to read it?
March 28th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Dear Julia’s Mom,
Will you and Julia marry Malach the Merciless?
March 28th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Um, the question above should begin “There’s often a PERCEPTION…”
I seem to have my ‘idiot fingers’ on tonight.
March 28th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Julia’s mom- what things do you think you did when she was growing up that maybe helped Julia become a creative, hilarious person she is today? or do you think its just genetics in action?
March 28th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Hey, I just started reading your comic over the winterbreak and I really really love it. I’m a traditional animation student, so I sometimes wonder how my moms deal with such a non-mainstream career choice.
So my question for your mother is…
“How were you able to let your child go into a lifestyle that is so unsteady?”
I mean obviously now you are doing well, so it’s good that your mother is supportive of your life choices. But still, sometimes I wonder how moms deal with that kind of stuff.
March 28th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Julia’s mom - What were/are your favorite time periods of your children’s lives (newborn/toddler/beginning school/teenage/20s/whatever)? and of course… why?
March 28th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Hi, my name’s Nick, long time reader, first time poster…
Okay, so, Julia’s Mom, could you tell us about Julia’s most embarrassing habits/situations/instances from when she was younger? or maybe from when she was older?
Do you have any regrets, Julia’s Mom? (not necessarily as a parent, just in general, but parental regret is good too.)
And finally, what’s the deal with Julia’s Dad?
March 28th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I would imagine as a parent it must be difficult at times to balance your desire to protect, nurture and advise your child with your knowledge that they are an adult and an indepedent person, and your desire to accept them as such. Do you find this to be a challenging aspect of your relationship with Julia?
And is there any facet of the woman Julia has grown to become that you wish would change?
March 28th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
thanks everyone! well, most of you. There are some really great questions here. and a few stupid ones, but overall I’m happy to ask my mom most of these. But I guess I should have laid down some rules first, I’ll do them now and hope people adhere to them: so, future commentors, please refrain from asking about my dad or saying useless/annoying things like Fred did above.
March 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Dear Julia’s Mom,
If Julia was a superhero, what would her super power be, and whom would she battle? What would her costume look like? Would you hand-craft it for her? Who would be the Robin to her her Batman?
March 28th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Dear Julia’s Mom,
While the “memories of Julia” has already been requested by more than one, I’d specifically like to hear the story about Julia you most enjoy telling that most makes Julia go “MOMMMMM!”
And do you like to draw also?
And that you know of, has Julia ever gone water-skiiing? Or tubing? Do you have any funny swimming stories about Julia? (Not counting the one about her first swears.)
Thanks!
March 28th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
hi julia’s mom!
ok, so i love seeing that you do a lot of baking in julia’s comics. what is your favorite recipe (can be sweet or savory)? is there a specific cookie recipe that you love to make? what is julia’s favorite recipe that you make (sweet or savory)? and what’s her favorite cookie recipe? i know this is sort of touched on above, but if you want to share a specific recipe that would be really cool. also, i love your hairdos over the years.
i think julia’s lucky to have you as a mom.
thanks for your time! becky (aka becks)
March 28th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Dear Julia’s Mom (Cheryl),
I hope you are all recovered and not afraid of bikes! Is it difficult having your life exposed (both in Kevin’s articles and Julia’s art)? Do you get any editing benefits? We do recognize you around Napa! You did a great job with all the kids, you should be very proud.
March 28th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
I kind of suck, but here’s one:
If you could create a comic, what would it be about? (Do you think you’d automatically do a autobiographical comedy similar to Julia’s, or would you try a fiction adventure or romance or whatever?)
March 28th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Dear Ms. Wertz,
Where did you grow up? What were your favorite cartoons as a kid?
If you and Julia were to switch places, how would you live her life differently?
Was there a boyfriend of hers from the past you always hoped she’d end up with?
March 28th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Dear Julia’s Mom,
As a cartoonist myself, I find that my mom is often deeply ashamed of me. Do you have any advice or words of wisdom to other parents of cartoonists?
March 28th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Dear Mama Wertz:
Julia seems rather upfront in the subject matter of her comics. Has the frank content brought you two closer? Many children have a difficult time discussing certain subjects with their parents, do you view her comic as a way to understand the innermost workings of her mind, without having to confront her about it directly?
March 29th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Hi Julia’s Mum,
Its always weird when my mum forms a perspective on youth culture. What do you think of when Julia says or writes ‘hipster’?
March 29th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Dear Woman Who Birthed Julia “The Wertz” Wertz:
Future generations of humans will probably be competing with increasingly self-sufficient, ultra-smart robots for dominance over Earth’s resources. What advice do you have for the robots who will be wiping the last of our species off the planet?
Best of luck,
Archbishop Ferdinand XXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII
March 29th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Can I second the request for recipes? That would rock SO HARD.
Fart Party II: Funny AND Nutritious.
March 29th, 2008 at 9:32 am
What do you wish we had asked?
March 29th, 2008 at 10:15 am
i could not resist asking another question, julia’s mom. how do you stay in such good shape? do you exercise regularly and watch what you eat? i know i asked about recipes earlier and everything so i guess this sort of goes along with that same idea. all those cookies! and you are so thin!
March 29th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Sorry if this has already been asked. I did skim the previous questions, but might have missed it,
What do you tell your friends when they ask what your daughter does? How much detail to you go into?
March 29th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Greetings Julia’s mom,
Cream and sugar with your coffee? Elaborate. Tell us your REAL feelings.
Which is better, the Return of the Jedi or Empire Strikes Back? Please provide support with your decision.
When I look back on my short albeit eventful life, I find that I have done some immensely stupid things. I mean, the type that when you look back you say to yourself ‘wtf was I thinking.’ Can you describe one of these events that you have had? Less of the totally life changing events, more of the waking up hungover and giving yourself doing a face palm.
Sincerely with love,
theparisian
March 29th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Does your mom regret not having that abortion? Shit, if I had a fucked up retard-o-failure like you, I would.
March 29th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I hate Internet Hate Machine. YOU are the retard ™. Now please, be respectful to Julia and Her mom cause they rock, dorkmeister.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Mrs. Lady, when Ms. Julia becomes immensely wealthy from her internet scribbles, what is the first thing you will force her to buy you?
March 29th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
…sorry if this one was taken already…
March 29th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
From where do you think Julia got her sense of humor?
March 30th, 2008 at 1:47 am
dan- i have a hedgehog : ) and their very nice pets.
by the way i really like your comics
March 30th, 2008 at 1:52 am
dear julia’s mom, if her house was made of balsa wood, would you provide her timber to bolster her defenses against the elements or let the tornadoes blow her life down
March 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Ms. Wertz,
1) Have you ever tried your hand at making a comic? I think it would be really funny if you could fill in for Juila when she’s in prison or rehab or something. I heard she owes money to this mobster named Freddy Nostrils. Maybe if he breaks her fingers you could do The Fart Party for a while.
2) Do you like younger men?
3) Why must your daughter use so many curse words?
4) What is your all-time least favorite movie?
5) Do you read any other comics besides your daughter’s brilliant stuff? If I sent you some comics would you read them? Could I maybe quote you in the future on the dust jacket? Perhaps it could be something like,
“A rollicking good time. Like good whiskey, Professor Peepee’s comics seem to just get smoother with age.” - Julia Wertz’s mom
6) Do you like younger men?
March 30th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
whoops apologies for drunk commenting.
March 30th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
NO. you may NOT send my mother your shitty comics. Even if my mom does like younger men, she doesn’t like 12 year old so fuck off.
March 30th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
third question: how did you choose your daughter’s name? i’m sorry…i should have just posted once.
March 30th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Nature or nurture?
March 31st, 2008 at 3:59 pm
im sorry if this was asked..but
my question is would you rather have julia be the most famous comic writer ever..with paperazzi chasing her all over the place..or have her be the best back alley craps bookie ever? money and fame? or infamy and loads of back alley street cred? whoop whoop
peace best wishes!
April 1st, 2008 at 2:45 am
Jimminy Christmas! Why are you so mean to me? You kinda treat your fans like poo.
April 1st, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to treat someone who calls himself “professor peepee” like poo.
Parents always have some image of how they think their children will turn out. You said you knew Julia would have a foul mouth, but what profession/outcome did you see for your daughter?
I say “outcome” as well as profession because my parents thought I was going to run away with a biker gang. (I did not)
April 1st, 2008 at 11:14 pm
sorry if anyone else has already asked this (i don’t feel like going through all the questions submitted before mine) but how do you react reading your daughter’s comics when they involve subject matters such as sex or drugs?
are there any other topics in the comics that you’d rather not read about?
oh, and can you say ‘cunt’ again?
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 am
Hi Julia’s Mom!
1) Do you also love cheese? What is your favorite kind?
2) What sorts of cheeses did you feed Julia growing up?
April 5th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
i love you julia.
i love you more than anyone i’ve ever not yet met.
you may be slightly frightened now, it’s natural baby, it’s natural.
but one day you will lift your veil to kiss the man you will spend the rest of your life with and you will not think “he is creepy.” you will think “he just loves me THAT much”
signed,
…………..