replacement lovers
Thursday, March 13th, 2008Vice magazine’s London Blog recently published a Fart Party strip, much to the enjoyment of all the haters out there. I mass emailed some of you last week- sorry about that. But, just wanted to say that my great Uncle George McGovern was on the Colbert Report last week, I blogged about it, read it here
March 13th, 2008 at 9:11 am
You know it looks like you simultaneously found some more space for books under the bed there.
[color=#00FF00]Atomic Books ORDER CONFIRMATION xxx1886
qty 1 fart party [/color]
March 13th, 2008 at 9:20 am
fergot to say 1st post
March 13th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Julia,
That is my bed too. My former lover has often looked at my queen-size bed and said, “Ah, I was replaced by books. I should have printed the New Yorker all over my body.”
Haven’t been kicked out of bed by them yet though.
I saw the McGovern interview. He held himself well.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Oh my god. I thought I was the only one. When I was single I used to do that all the time. My laptop’s home was actually the other side of my bed. Now that I live with my boyfriend, I try not to do it so much any more.
I’m glad to know I’m not such a freak of nature after all.
Although, in recent days I’ve heard that if you find it hard to sleep it may be because you have electronic media in your room… close to your bed. So in the end, your love for your computer may be CAUSING your insomnia.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:07 am
My bed is just like this!! I’ve woken up countless times tangled up in and slowly asphyxiated by my Ipod chords while a tower of books sways precariously above me waiting to tip over to bury me. “How’d he die? Well it seems to be a fatal mixture of Architecture in Helsinki and Hellboy. Poor Bastard.”
March 13th, 2008 at 11:51 am
lets see if this gets to 50 posts.
oh, and “you” look really rotund in the first and last panel
and how the hell can you read more than one book at once
it annoys the shit outta me when i have to do that for school
March 13th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
i also have a queen size all to me - and thats how it will stay! the floor is for books (floorspce to books ratio = 1inch:as many books as will fit and stack without falling over). books can go on the bed during the day but they are banished at night.
considering the title of this, “replacement lover”, i think you should attempt to make a mannequin out of old books…..but that’d take ages
March 13th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
And what if you get not-single? Are you supposed to be unprepared with a too-small bed? That’s like not having condoms handy cause you’re not currently having sex.
Be prepared, motherfucker!
March 13th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
funny comic.. george mcgovern rocks south dakota… meaning you have ties too….. the middle of nowhere!! welcome welcome, south dakota has many amenities such as McGovern’s home city of Mitchell which has the world only palace made of corn! Sorry about your great aunt’s passing away… our state had a day of remembrance for her. he’s the best democrat we’ve ever had *tear*
March 13th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
ahhh the walk of shame. damnit.
March 13th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
You should replace those books with gold bullion. Your troubles are over!
March 13th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
George “Hunter S. Thompson had a crush on me” McGovern?? It sounds like you were born with a hipster silver spoon in your mouth.
March 13th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Julia Wertz, will you marry me? I promise to start showering occasionally. And if you like I’ll sleep on the ground on the other side of the books.
March 13th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Hunter S. Thompson is my hero.
And I have a single, but its on the floor, and its surrounded by crap. I need to sort of hop over my towers of books/DVDs/whatever to get into bed.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
my mom gave me a bunch of mcgovern bumper stickers from back in the day. i don’t know what to do with them so i put them in envelopes along with letters. he sounds like a tight relative to have.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Well, now it looks like I’m copying someone else to say, but I say it honestly…
I’ve heard them called “Full” beds, and I have called them that since being made fun of for “sleeping on a queen”. I also have it all to myself(no surprise there) but I have the misfortune of being gigantic and large-huge. I did sleep with my laptop on one side of the bed with me once , but that night I literally fell asleep and did not move, waking up the next morning and not realizing that time had passed at all save for the sunlight through a window.
And I have tonnes of books, but I read through them too fast. I have yet to find a book or series of books that actually make we want to read through them from start to finish. I like mysteries and s/f mostly, and subscribe to Analog and Asimov’s.
Can I suggest some Anthology series? They are perfect for short attention spans AND reading through a short, well-written story in one sitting does wonders for feelings of accomplishment.
@Phil
Good luck from a pooka.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
The denominations are Twin/Single, Double/Full (54″ Wide), Queen (60″ Wide), King.
The non-standard denominations include Twin Extra Long, Three Quarter, Super Single, Olympic Queen, California Queen, Eastern King, California King, Long King.
Alls I’m saying is Full is not Queen.
Duh.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I already covered my ass by beginning with “I’ve heard them called ‘Full’ beds
“… And a quick google search would have told me what kind of bed I have. I have a full.
Does anyone else think the line “Why do you have a queen bed if you’re single?” is begging for a smartass retort?
March 13th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Well since you brought it up. Yeah I noticed how the downstage eye is always teardrop, and she doesn’t draw her bare feet. Something weird about that, but what I really think is that the flow from a two shot to an establishing shot to a mid shot then pow back to the two shot with two punch lines is really just masterful. Dance em around and lay em out.
Yeah no survivors whatsoever. Comic genius.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Hey, congrats! Didn’t you say that it was a goal of yours to be printed in Vice? (from the SFist interview…)
I think that you should be in the Onion, personally. You are waaaayyyyy funnier than the comics they presently have. Someday, when I rule the world, I’ll put in a good word for you.
How lame am I?
March 13th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
idkrash and that pooka, you are cordially invited to FUCK OFF until you can start leaving comments that either make sense or are not annoying.
“George “Hunter S. Thompson had a crush on me†McGovern?? It sounds like you were born with a hipster silver spoon in your mouth”
well, maybe, but you know what? it was covered in delicious douche bag peanut butter and I’m gonna stay up all night eating it while watching 30 Rock reruns.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
i said hello to george mcgovern once… but i was 7. And i apologize that McGovern didn’t even carry his home state when he ran for president. We are a stubborn red state… And he was for the legalization of pot! he basically lost the election because his platform was very anti-war and then when the war was getting visually closer to an end in 1972, he totally didn’t have any platform to stand on. Also the whole thing with thomas eagleton… but tricky dick slid in there and made a mockery of the United States. Oh if george mcgovern would of been president…. we would be a much better country….
March 13th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
also the people leaving mean ass criticism on the Vice can fuck off.
March 14th, 2008 at 2:03 am
I find art supplies to be the most annoying bedside accomplice. Rolling over paint in the middle of the night is the -least- amount of fun.
PS Thunder Bay thinks you are awesome.
March 14th, 2008 at 3:23 am
I do this too when I’m the single person in the bed. I found out my ex’s mom also does this. It is apparently a fairly common thing.
March 14th, 2008 at 3:34 am
doode, some of those vice blog commenting hipsters are total dicks.
March 14th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Found on Vice
Posted by: muthafutha | 10/03/2008 at 22:52
It’s like your whole food culture is based on the absence of cows.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Hey you know what I just realized? This is a classic sit-com format.
Julia, you could totally skip drawing from now on and just write scripts for these two characters. Except that you’d have to change to two middle panels from time to time.
Then put a little interactive button in the lower right corner that plays a sound effect like the Waaaan waaan waaaaaaaa trombone lick, or a rim shot.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:15 am
I do this when the bed is empty (as it has been pretty continuously since I moved from the Bay to NYC), too. This is a bit of a problem as I currently have a twin bed, having left the queen in California. Oh well, so I get a few paper cuts from spooning the lit, at least I’m well-read (and sleep maybe four hours a night).
March 14th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
god. my bed looks like that right now. except all the sheets are in a tangle and i lost my abraham lincoln knife somewhere in the fray.
March 14th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
That’ll learn you to fill your bed with those Pop-Up books.
Literacy is a jealous mistress and a murder of books hath the power of life and death.
March 14th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Julia, you should invest in a Papasan chair/bed. The bowl shape will prevent you from falling out, and will allow you to wallow in your personal belongings at night, which is smooth and fantastic.
I have succesfully solved this problem, and look forward to systematically solving every single issue you will describe in the future. Prepare to have your life changed.
March 14th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
my kick ass round bed is completely taken over by clothing, luggage and instruments…so i sleep on the futon in the living room, surrounded by books…dang, i need to simplify
March 14th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
you have a really flat pillow. is it aged?
March 14th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Not to sound like a broken record…but looks like my bed at home. I have at least three different graphic novels, two books, a variety of electronics and something I always stab my foot on, but I’m not entirely sure actually exists.
I’ve always wanted to install a shelf system over my bed, but I’ve had this awful fear that it will collapse one day on my head and something bloody painful will happen.
March 15th, 2008 at 2:20 am
I think it’s funny the idkrash managed to piss of julia in the Vice post also. What do you prefer to be called anyway, do you mind if people call you julia on here? seems like all the third person references would be wierd.
March 15th, 2008 at 8:50 am
I want people to call me Julia and only that. I hate it when people I don’t know give me nicknames or, even worse, call me “fart party.” and yeah, idkrash just took the cake for #1 annoying commenter. Shit, dude took the whole fucking bakery after doing it on Vice.
March 15th, 2008 at 9:34 am
holy balls he’s like a virus.. and dont you have the power to delete any comments you dislike? you could layeth the executive power on him for all our sakes
March 15th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I had no idea that my love of McGovern and On The Campaign Trail ‘72 would actually enrage someone. Jokes, people.
March 15th, 2008 at 10:06 am
could you stop spying on me and making comics about it?
:]]]
so i’ve read every comic on this site, and this is the last one and it upsets me greatly.
but it’s awesome and i relate because the other side of my bed is filled with the same shit, and occassionaly a drunk gay guy, who just sleeps on top of the books, but not the laptop (i hope).
March 15th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Yeah I can relate to that comic. So much stuff, so little room.
I can’t say I’ve ever been kicked out of bed though. All my stuff just usually ends up in between the bed and the wall (or worse- sometimes it manages to get down into the covers) before ending back up on a shelf.
March 15th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
do you actually read all of these, Julia?
If so….I am so sorry.
March 16th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
well at least there isn’t any paint or mod podge on that bed like on mine when i decide to try and sleep…
however, i have concluded, glitter is the worst; it truly is the herpes of craft projects.
but art still makes a good lover.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Julia, it’s great to know I’m not alone. I bought the biggest bed to be had in Spain, and I have fallen out a few times because of books/laptop/cats… Oh well. I discovered Fart Party a week ago and i love it, fuck the jerks who only blog to critisize, you’re cool. (I also relate to the not so tall issues)
March 24th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Terrible book habit? Why are you so ashamed of reading?
March 27th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Dude. That’s my bed too. Except I sleep on the other side of the bed and in addition to the books there’s also whatever earrings I wore that day, my cellphone, my remote, contacts case, etc., and there’s no room for me to fall on the floor on either side of my bed because my bed takes up pretty much the whole room.
March 28th, 2008 at 11:03 am
[...] And this is pretty much wonderful. [...]