offers and pleas
Sunday, March 9th, 2008Dearest Fart Party readers,
below is a list of services I provide and ones I request from you, starting 2008 and beyond. All answers/inquiries/offers can be sent to juliawertz(at)gmail(dot)com
(this blog is now a permanent page on fartparty.org, but to draw your attention to it, here it is in full form)
Services provided:
so, I frequently get the wanderlust and ain’t so fond of New York, so if you’re going on vacation and need someone to watch your apartment or house, I’m happy to offer my services as a vigilant watcher. And I promise not to pee in your sink. I’ll do it for free, but it’d be great to be paid if you can afford it. I’m pretty good at watering house plants and feeding animals too. I’m not very good at math though. Anytime/anywhere, this offer is always valid.
Services requested:
I’m gearing up for a cross country trip probably sometime this summer, if you have a couch I can crash on anywhere between New York and San Francisco (including either of those cities) email me. I’m gonna put those emails in a separate folder and save them for when I figure out my route, so I might not write back immediately. I’m just stock piling places to crash. All I ask is that you don’t expect me to be your dancing monkey, that you’re not a creepy and that you don’t slip a mickey in my drink.
To New Yorkers only:
My ass needs a motherfuckin’ job. If you know of any, email me. If you can offer me one, even better. I’m a good restaurant/cafe worker, freelance writer and reviewer but I’m not any good with computers. and again, not so good with the whole math thing.
To San Franciscans:
if anyone can offer me a job that’s good enough to make me leave New York early, I will buy you beer and fill your pockets with rainbows and sunshine.
To Everyone:
I accept trades of all kinds (meaning more than comics/books/zines, if you catch my unsubtle drift) Conventions are the easiest way to trade with me, but again, I’m open to discussing other methods (and tradin’ goods). You can see a list of readings/conventions I’ll be at on the events page. But none of that “meet me at the clocktower at midnight” bullshit because I reserve that for treasure hunters and the ghosts of sailors who died at sea.
March 9th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I say forget San Francisco, come to Canada. Its just as warm in the summer, and the days are super long when you live as far north as I do. Except in the winter when theres 4 hours of daylight.
March 9th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I’m not sure if I can offer a spot (or if you’d want to stop in the middle of Iowa instead of driving straight through) but I did have some questions. Are you driving? Greyhound? Flying? Do we get a free doodle if you pick our place?
March 9th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
probably a mixture of all three. Doodles fer sure, even better if you let me do em on the bathroom wall.
March 9th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
if you need a place in houston texas let me know.
that may be too far down south but oh well.
March 9th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
In case you ever decide to take a road trip across the ol’ Atlantic ocean, you can always crash on my couch in Vienna, Austria.
March 9th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
email! I’m serious about collecting a list of places I can crash. USA or otherwise, I’ve got something big up my sleeve and while it might take awhile to get, um, out of my sleeve, this is step one of my plan. so please, if you really do have a place I can crash at, email me at juliawertz(at)gmail(dot)com
March 9th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Sent ya an e-mail if you need to stay in Livermore
An hour away from San Fran, so not sure why you’d want to… but you’re more than welcome to!
We got a house of 2 guys and 2 girls (one from each forming an awesome mellow couple lol — great roomies)
House is kept pretty clean, but if you have a problem with cats ….. ..we got cats lol
March 9th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
your mom is going to have a fit
March 9th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
“(meaning more than comics/books/zines, if you catch my unsubtle drift)”
You’ve turned to prostitution?
March 9th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
no, handjobs are still five bucks. all else is implied.
March 10th, 2008 at 3:06 am
i’ll let u crash at my place for a good shag. not a problem. i’m in jersey
March 10th, 2008 at 3:52 am
Please reconsider peeing in my sink.
It’s how I wash my dishes.
March 10th, 2008 at 8:39 am
rockland- even a retard can catch what I’m implying and it’s not that.
Tony- not appreciated. spelling you as “u” is only reserved for hasty phone texts.
vitch- you’re right. ma! don’t have a fit! I promise I’ll bring knifey with me.
March 10th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Crap, I need a house-sitter but the notice is probably a bit short, March 29-April 6. But spring in Atlanta is lovely and my girlfriend adores you so yell if you plan to head south any time!
March 10th, 2008 at 9:26 am
I’m below The Bible Belt. Actually it’s called the Pubic Area of the United States. If I were able to offer temporary residence in Georgia, I would, but there aren’t enough couches in my mom’s basement. Any other thing a hermetic homebody like me could do?
March 10th, 2008 at 10:24 am
shit, you can stay with me and my roomates in our lovely cobble hill apartment anytime, although im sure you’re covered in brooklyn. hm, jobs. i’ll keep it in mind although nothing occurs to me right now.
March 10th, 2008 at 10:34 am
OMG Wetzie, after your last comic and the proceeding comments (shudder) I became convinced one of your readers is going to kill you, and now you are broadcasting that you’ll come stay with them?! Makin it easy. Please don’t get murdered.
March 10th, 2008 at 10:34 am
i have a place you can crash in kansas city! my email is lacy.myers@gmail.com
i also have myspace (myspace.com/iamnotlacy)
no roofies, no nasty sofas, a bed and beer and probably some bbq tofu. are you driving/bus/train? chances are we can get you to/from the station.
if KC doesn’t suit your style, i could also hook you up with a place in lawrence (college town an hour west)
but everyone knows KC is the shit.
March 10th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Come to Toronto! Your money won’t go far but the beer is plentiful and the alcohol content higher! I have a fold out couch with your name on it!
(Summer in T.O. is just like summer in New York, only shorter)
March 10th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
If you ever need a place to crash in Denver, I’ve got a lovely couch for you!
March 10th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Howdy from the land of Maker’s Mark. I’ve been reading your stuff all day, and I don’t know exactly what to say except thanks.
I’ve been very down today. Like you in the strip you drew about your illegal hike, I seem to alternate between seeing all the ways my life sucks balls and then being suddenly awakened to the fact that my life, in many ways, kinda rocks. Today was one of the lonely days, although I couldn’t tell you why. It was exactly the same as the past hundred Mondays, except for this inexplicable overwhelming crushing awareness that the someone who used to make my life feel like it had a point is no longer around. I’ve been feeling exactly like the pictures you draw of yourself curled up in a fetal position with tears welling up in your eyes, except I’m a guy, so I’ve got to bottle that shit up until it ferments into manageable surliness and a generally unpleasant disposition. You know what I’m talking about.
In any case, this bout of out-of-the-blue blues led me to be particularly antisocial, which manifested itself in me burying my face in my monitor and surfing the internet all day, purposely shunning all human contact. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you how in the hell I ended up here. But I’ve been greedily devouring your strips for a few hours now, and I feel a shit ton better. Its not that I want you to feel like I do, but the knowledge that there’s someone else out there feeling exactly the way I am is comforting. Is that indicative of some perverse pleasure I take in others’ misery? I hope not. Whatever it is, I don’t feel quite as lonely or hopeless as I did a few hours ago, and its because of you. So thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I’m gonna stop gushing now because I think I can actually feel myself starting to grow a vagina. But if you’re ever around these parts in Kentucky, there’s a bottle of Maker’s waiting for you. I feel like I owe you a drink.
Thanks again,
Chris
March 10th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
If you go to the mitten of the United States, there is a bed in Howell waiting for you!
March 10th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I’ve been a reader for a while, rarely ever comment, but ummm: That sounds like quite the adventure, and I’m sure it will create some great stories and comics along the way. For the ppl that thought Julia was prostituting herself, you are not very smart, it was pretty obvious, like what were you thinking trade a comic for sex?…anyhoooo I’m in Ontario, not really anywhere you plan on going but i think it would be so awesome to have you stay here. I’m in a student house so random ppl basically live here anyways. love the comics!
March 11th, 2008 at 12:43 am
You should come to BC, though my place is too small for offering. Vancouver is like the Canuckistani San Fran and trading for things that are not quite legal but aren’t prostitution is a vibrant part of our local economy.
March 11th, 2008 at 2:17 am
There’s a lumpy futon in Austin, TX for ya. ‘The F.P.’ is great and poets should help out cartoonists!
March 11th, 2008 at 5:37 am
hey, you should try http://www.couchsurfing.com. :]
March 11th, 2008 at 9:51 am
this is asking for scabies.
March 11th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
if for some reason your in boring ass tampa, my couch is open.
you just will have to deal with my roomate’s dumbass dog trying to hump you in your sleep
March 11th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
If you need a place in Chicago (wicker park), I have an extra room…and I promise free cheese!
March 13th, 2008 at 10:49 am
If you’re in chicago we could probably let you stay with us while you’re here!
March 13th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Hey Julia - You gotta place to crash in Fort Collins (I actually bought a copy of Bicycle Love in a store here!). It’s about an hour North of Denver and has killer brew pubs and bookshops (in some cases all under one roof!)
March 13th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Julia! If you need a place to crash in SF, you can stay at my place, anytime!
I work at a deli/market here and it pays pretty well for the kind of job it is, plus benefits and all that. It’s alright, especially if you got something else going (which you do).
March 14th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Hey I am a recent fan of yours. Love the comics!
I have a roomy and clean apartment in DC if you are ever in town!
March 14th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
You got a place in L.A. no bed but a comfy couch. If your cool with cats its yours. You’ve inspired me to return to my love of comic book making. Thank you.
Just so you know I am 29/f and married as far as I know my couch is scabies free plus there is an awesome Cheese store you gotta try in Silverlake.(neighborhood in Los Angeles.)
March 16th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Might have a place for you near Chicago, it’s in Woodstock. Let me know.
March 18th, 2008 at 1:54 am
if you need a place in portland, oregon, let me know.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Hi there
i just stumbled upon your comics! They are WICKED!!!!
If you ever want to go to canada and are in St. John’s Newfoundland I can offer you a Futon !
Rock on ! Ur comics are Fantastic
April 6th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
let me know if you make it to new zealand.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Why not come to Heidelberg/Germany, sitting my flat and I’ll go to Brooklyn sitting yours?
April 16th, 2008 at 12:04 am
If you head a little north of Portland for any reason, I live in Seattle, have a guest room and a month’s severance (and a lot of free time coming up)…
May 21st, 2008 at 10:21 pm
if you need a place to crash in Madison Wisconsin i got a couch. Its also the land of cheese and beer and i know you love those things.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:27 am
If you’re in Central IL, let me know!