first kiss
Friday, March 7th, 2008this comic is for Ryan Sands’ Electric Ant zine. It’s not out yet but I’ll post when it is. Ryan put up with whole lot of bullshit slacking on my part, so I owe him a big thanks.
Buster, on the other hand, transfered to a different school the following year and I never saw him again. jerk.
March 7th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Why is it that all badboys when you are little have short buzz cuts?
March 7th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I had a buzz cut when I was little, but I was good. I had the buzzcut by accident because my dad decided to try cutting my hair and couldn’t get it even on both sides. They are also called “Burr-Hair-cuts.” I was kind of upset about it, and opted to stay home from school and do my schoolwork at home until it grew back in.
Also, never been kissed. I’m sure it will be awkward at first, and then even more awkward after I tell the girl that it was my first kiss. More awkwardness to follow, of course.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
we had something similar at my school. it was an amphitheater. my crush was giovanni. he brought me his toy trucks lol
March 7th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I wonder if bad boys in elementary school still have buzz cuts or if it was an 80’s thing? seems like all little dudes have long hair these days.
TP- er…how old are you? fart party has a strict parental guidance rule that if you don’t follow, internet goblins will eat your face. And for fucksake, just don’t tell her. If you’re as old as I”m guessing, and not just a 40 y/o dude living in his mom’s basement, she’ll probably be just as inexperienced.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
So what have become of Buster?
March 7th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
My first kiss was at 19. The thing is, when you have a first kiss that late on, it’s very unlikely that you’ll just kiss once- more likely it’ll be one followed by an intense, groping flurry of kisses, followed by however much making-out you both have the time and energy for. So you don’t need to worry too much about being experienced, having a late first kiss is like kissing boot camp. So don’t worry The Pooka!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
haha is that really something to confess on the fart party comments board? i mean you’re prodding for advice from people who regularly say some of the weirdest shit i read on the Internets. But i remember my first steady girlfriend at 19 i kissed and she said that it was her first kiss afterwards and it wasn’t very awkward. and matthew’s right because that first kiss lead to that first 3 hour ultra hormone driven groping session. Then theres the walking in front of her parents with messed up “post fuck-around” hair. “hey parents! i just sexed up your daughter!”
March 7th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
if you need to confess something
try here
March 7th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Parents! Dude, that is what college dorm rooms were created for.
And those are the lamest confessions ever on that site! Where’s the juicy stuff? Where’s the confessions of lies, murders, leaving behind you a wake of burning houses and ruined lives?
“I’m ashamed to be American sometimes?” That’s not a confession unless you’re a Fox News anchor.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
MB- i agree the site ’s content has gone down. it used to be way better when it first was launched in nov 03. in 04 had a nice forum for a while…
bu now kind of sucks
March 7th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
My first kiss was at age 14 I was working undercover through a young diplomat’s exchange program in the Krangsteinian consulate. She was a head diplomat, I needed access to the microfiche . . . you know how these things go
March 7th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Ryan here— thanks again for this comic Julia
It’s gonna fit right in with other tales of embarrassment and underage smooching. We’re pretty close to full up, but if people want to share their story for the full-color spread, our survey is online here:
http://www.samehat.com/kissme/EntryForm.html
March 7th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Damn, I wish MY first kiss had been inside a tire with a little boy. Alas, beggars can not be choosers.
Did you really have a California Raisins lunchbox? If so, then this comic’s tale would be a blatant fabrication since you’d literally be “too cool for school”.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
haha lay off it was during the summer time. and how about a comic about the first time you got walked in on? cuz if it was my comic it would be me standing in the middle of her room with naked as hell with a can of whipped cream. and the estranged man who walked in was the ex boyfriend. theres gotta be some rule about not punching a naked guy… but one black eye later i learned to lock the dorm door.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
“…me standing in the middle of her room with naked as hell with a can of whipped cream…”
yeah, sorry dude, but my bullshit detector just lit up so hard it broke.
and yes, I did have a california raisins lunchbox, it was the 80’s! my mom wanted me to get a “pretty pretty princess” one but I wasn’t havin’ it. My only regret was that I don’t still have that lunch box.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
haha yeah.. when i posted that i knew i was not slipping one past anybody. that story is all true except that part… because really, it was just me in the middle of the room with a goofy ass look on my face with her under the covers hiding. but no joke we did buy a can of whipped cream from the C-store earlier for ice cream but it was in the fridge not opened. nor ever opened… sad part was that i totally cowered in fear cuz that dude was a scary wrestler. she never talked to me again. skinny white guy ftw
March 7th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
my first kiss, was in kindergarten, playing house and all that on the playground…..we had one of those fake plastic houses, mmm good times
I seem to remember bad boys in the 80s having the rat tail, am i wrong or was that just a midwest deal back then?
March 7th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
story of your life, eh?
March 8th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I still have the Raisin figures. From the show, not the commercials, the commercial raisins were different.
Confession, though Dilton Doiley says is good for the soul, is probably not in my best interest around folks I don’t know. I read Archie Comics, yes.
I preface my age with the following: I’ve been working a twelve-hour job since I was thirteen, and I don’t get out much. I’m twenty-six, born September 15th, 1981. I guess I sound “younger” because I’ve been pretty much exactly the same since I turned ten. I type all of this with sincerity and honesty, knowing full well I can’t prove anything and it does not benefit me to lie.
I remember the Theme Song to “Inhumanoids” and the only episode I was allowed to watch (after describing to my mom how one of the monsters with a skull and see-through belly had bitten off the other giant monster’s arm, it then regurgitated it and spat on the end to help glue it back on the giant monster …I didn’t get to watch it anymore. I miss Saturday morning cartoons). I should probably head over to TV.com and see if that show exists anywhere. It is possible I imagined the whole thing, and I wouldn’t put that past me.
Bah, they have it but no real descriptions for the episodes.
May I use HTML? I might link to these things sometime.
Also, my dad was retro in the sense of the 1950’s, and growing up around that I watched the Television sit-coms from around then, and read some of the old comics and magazines from the 1970’s.
Stop me if I start ranting.
I hope some of this also illustrates why I’ve never kissed/been kissed.
I’m xenophobic. (almost used a smilie, but I know better)
March 8th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Hm.
Just Realized Riss might have been making fun of me. Nah.
Perhaps a quick story:
Long ago there was a highly-populated kingdom. However, the population was mostly rats. The people of this kingdom didn’t mind the rats, but the travelers and tourists did, and so the kingdom was looked upon poorly by all who would trod up to and past their borders.
The king was kindly while not being very wise, but he knew that something needed to be done to rid his kingdom of the rats. Or, at least, dwindle them down. After speaking with his royal advisers, he decided to ask all of his subjects to remove their rats until they were on par with the level of rodentia of other kingdoms. For each rat removed, a person would be given one gold coin.
Word spread through the kingdom, the people grabbed their rats by the handful and brought them to their king for reward. All were very happy, until the king’s treasury was soon found on the verge of total depletion.
Truly the rats were being brought to the king, but many of the rats were trained homing rats, which always brought their tiny hides back to their owner’s houses for more gold coins. Upon learning this, the king denounced the offer of gold, and soon the population of rats had surpassed the people of his kingdom once again.
Undaunted, the king sought other ways to help his kingdom, and a new idea was brought forth: A celebration of Rats, where rats would be the currency, and rats would be necessary for admittance.
The festivities were soon set, and rats were brought from far and wide as people enjoyed participation. To keep rats from being used twice, they were halved immediately(much like a ticket stub) and incinerated to keep the more enterprising people from handing off half a rat to their friend for free admittance.
And I tell you this because, while I’m sure my getting offended would be a great show indeed …I don’t think anyone here gives a flaming rat’s ass.
Heh.
March 8th, 2008 at 2:26 am
Panel nine perfectly captures the moment that Buster realizes that he is gay.
March 8th, 2008 at 9:25 am
My elementary school had those giant tire things too. They were, like, tractor tires all tied together somehow. I remember rain water used to get trapped in them and breed mosquitoes. Also, it smelled amazing inside them in a weird way. What exactly was going on with playground designers in the ’80s?
March 8th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Hey Julia, it’s me, Buster. I live in Germany now, I’ve been through it all - Grunge, Skinhead, you name it. At the moment I am really back to nature, living in the woods and all with my third wife and her two children.
I remember the day we kissed, really. When I was working at the Dunlop factory outlet last summer the big ones always gave me a bit of a sentimental mood - but then again, I wasn’t ready for this back then. Who knows, had I been a bit more of a man, who knows…
March 8th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
oh for the love of god, DO NOT post links to any of those things and DO NOT ever leave comments that long and boring again. seriously dude, got get yourself a whore and some fresh air. kudos for not leaving a smiley face though.
March 8th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
ps- fake Buster- I’m glad you fake left me after fake kissing me in a fake tire. But for reals, real Buster probably lives in a trailer park.
March 8th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I’ll keep it in check.(No thanks on fresh whores or air).
March 8th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
i am a flaming rats ass. our elementary school had a stack o tires that kids used to climb up before they realized that the huge amounts of cuts and broken limbs from kids falling down the sides were caused by the tires. we all are very privileged to grow up in a time with no safety concerns for playground equipment. now they got plastic static electricity generators for jungle gyms. all right no posting for 2 weeks for me. i met quota plus one
March 8th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
jesus christ. why do people feel the need to make a connection to every single one of your comics?
March 8th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
I’m just curious how all those tires made it to the school yard. Left by vandals and loved by kids?
March 9th, 2008 at 12:04 am
you always draw your self so stubby looking… youre very pretty…
March 9th, 2008 at 12:09 am
actually, I’m a creepy hermit living in his mom’s basement, posing as a 25 y/o girl. Okay okay, that’s not entirely true, I live in my DAD’s basement. And I leech free cable from my neighbors so I can watch scrambled porn.
March 9th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I just read through all this when I should be doing homework…I’ve never met you and live in an entirely different country than you but I really enjoyed reading about your life….
update now please thanks bye.
i wish i had tires in my school as a kid
i wish i had giant tires now.
March 9th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Who doesn’t watch scrambled porn? It’s like a workout for the mind AND body.
And tires are still used in playgrounds, they just chop them up into bite-size pieces and bury them in the ground, now.
March 9th, 2008 at 11:40 am
ah Toff…I am glad you are a new reader but you’ve already broken two of my three rules. One by telling me to update and 2 by putting an emoticon in there. Lucky for you, rule three is that there are no rules and i just like giving you guys shit.
March 10th, 2008 at 8:21 am
I actually almost had sex in the tires…
I didn’t even really understand what sex was, but I had my peepee out and had my hand in the other chick’s pants. Her sister called for her though and we got scared so we didn’t.
Several years later, I heard she got pregnant by some dood and was certified white trash. Dodged a bullet on that one!
March 10th, 2008 at 9:26 am
MY first kiss was in a tire! I grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My school, Inez Elementary had a huge field of dirt that they passed off as a playground. They didn’t have a pile of tires, but one big ass tractor tire lying on its side. How uncreative were playground designers then? “Aw hell, I don’t know. Do we have anything that is big…and black so it attracts heat…and rubber so it retains said heat? A big ass tractor tire?! Genius!” It’s also interesting to me that young kids nation wide seem to have the same idea when they see a huge tire in a playground, “Let’s get in that thing and make out!” Anyway, this girl Darla and I kissed in the tire, I think I was five.
March 10th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Ha! “Tire mountain”.
March 14th, 2008 at 2:19 am
Man, that Buster sure was a heartbreaker..
90s bad boys had buzzcuts too.
May 12th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I am late on this, so no one will read this, thankfully! But my first smooch wasn’t until highschool and it was in a movie theatre. I was so sweaty and anxious and just went for it, too bad it was on something like the 53rd “date”. This is honestly still how things’re done.
Also, I had long hair or a psuedo Hitler-esque, (inspired by Edward Furlong in T-2), for a long time and my grandpa always threatened to give me a “heinie”, which is what he called buzzcuts.