28 thoughts on “the perils of bicycle delivery”

  1. Dumont? I don’t deliver for them. I deliver for Life Cafe- that random hipster restaurant/bar in Bushwick. And I know it’s fucking cold in the city, I delivered last night in the wind and snow. it sucked at least three balls.
    you know why I “spit acid” at people on this forum? cause some of you say some really stupid shit, like “do you have a gun?” no, I don’t have a fucking gun and no none is going to try to mug me for a turkey burger and three PBRs.
    what’s this willy-b food mafia? will they let me be their friend? do I have to cross my heart and swear to die that I’ll never reveal the fact that we all secretly sneak french fries from delivery orders?

  2. personally i like when you spit acid at us… and that would be hard as shit to deliver to squatters. i live in a city that has a crossroad of two interstates with epic hobo traffic that wander around downtown and various parks scaring the shit right out of my sigmoid colon when they emerge out of the bushes as I’m trying to control the outbreak of WEST NILE. trying to track homeless people down to deliver some food can’t be easy..

  3. “none is going to try to mug me for a turkey burger and three PBRs.”

    Well before I just thought you had a few dollars in change, but now that I know that there’s beer and turkey burgers to be had the muggings will begin.

  4. personally I like being your toady… can I do tricks to delight queen Julia as she fires volleys of acidic hate pearls that she carefully cultivated from the sand in her vagina (which is the reason for the disposition) @ me.
    Dance Monkeys…
    DANCE!

  5. Hey I was gonna say, is that Life Cafe? We used to order from there all the time when we lived in Bushwick, it was either that or Anytime. Does Duncan still work there? And where do the squatters live? I never saw no squatters back when I was living in that neighborhood. But I do remember riding my bike under the JMZ to go to work and praying to god my tires didn’t get popped by all the fucking broken pieces of debris littering the streets. That’s a rugged ride my friend, I salute you. It’s too bad we don’t live there anymore (actually not really, our apartment is now 2x as big for less $$) because we always tried to tip well.

  6. no duncan works there that I know of. tis a small world indeed! next time I see you, I’ll wow you with more small world stories, I’ve complied a lot over the last few weeks. the quatters lare somewhere on thames st, fuck if I know since there’s no real address for me to remember- in one of all those giant loft/warehouse places I think. and yeah, riding under the JMZ is a fucking nightmare. plus there’s always weird black soot and/or water falling from it. ugh.

  7. You know, I never took into consideration the fact that my delivery people might sneak food from my order. I worried they might add stuff if they didn’t like me, but steal food? Maybe that’s why my pizza is light on the pepperoni sometimes…

  8. I work this In New Orleans, fucking hell man, Its sucks. But its also the best job Ive ever had. If you’ve been to NO you know the streets suck, I go through bike parts so fast, im fixing some shit once a week and a good new bike is too damn expensive. I almost get mugged every night, have some crack head try and short change me, and almost get hit by cars. Have those asshole tarrot readers order and not tip at all, I mean the place I work for doesnt even charge a delivery fee, Its also the cheapest in french quarter, no tip and 40 dollar shift pay is what i get without tips, n i gotta tip out cooks. Also ive learned there is no even self belief in tarrot, they just say the same thing with every person depending on age, i know their stupid spiels. If your a teen its , your creative, your noticing things are different than you once thought, this is a turning point in your life, youve got to stick with things to nourish your creativity not change your hobby every six months, that every time i mean shit that applies to every anxty person.

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