Damn, what an asshole! I would bet you that Mr. Travis was later known as “Stumpy Dick McGillicuty” down at the Steak & Shake off Route 5 where he bus-boys now and for the rest of his pathetic, little life.
My middle school nicknames included Lizbo/Lizbian, and Skips (a reference to the generic dollar store sneakers I wore). I never quite understood why pointing out the fact that I wore generic sneakers was supposed to be insulting.
The most common thing I’d get made fun of was my vocabulary. “Eh, grammah boy! You know beeg wuhds, anh?” “Muuuunh, I’m Matt Beeeernier, and I know big words.”
I have to say, even to an aspergers-afflicted, socially retarded kid like me, their awkward attempt to transform their own inferiority into a superiority through teasing (rather than, say, reading a fucking book) was pretty naked to me even then. I didn’t even get angry about that insult most times, it was so desperate and pitiful. (What’s weird is, there was tons of great stuff to make fun of me for. I always wore collared shirts tucked in, and utility pants. I had a mullett, and a girly one, too. I’d caught my head in the porch slats while on a time out, and another time I’d shat my pants. I was physically awkward, slow, and I talked in an annoying nasal voice (which I still do.)
But they used none of this; they teased me for being smart, and then later, for my dad dying.
yeah matt, but I bet you’d cry a little if they were calling you “teenie weenie” or something.
liz- i am totally calling you “skips” from now on. that nickname is great!
dan- actually, the last time I saw him was when we were 20 and he WAS bussing tables. haha! um, well, so was I but then I moved to San Francisco and all you bitches know what came after that.
The really sad thing is that he was probably trying to flirt with you by talking about your tits . . . in the only context he understood, which was insulting them. You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to go back to junior high school. Well, maybe for a day.
In Virginia circa ‘98-2001, when I was in middle school (I think that’s right) even slightly long hair was totally unheard of, apparently, because all of my nicknames were like “The Hair” and “Afro Thunder” and “Fag,” haha
I think it’s important that we put Travis Bowls name in the comments so when he googles himself, he finds this comic and feels guilty. I’m going to do it again, just to make sure - Travis Bowls. And once more for luck “Travis Bowls”.
Yes, I’m with Malach on the extra E as well. And it make it strangely more relevant to more of the stuff that’s posted about here. It’s all Freudian anyway, right? Let’s start a movement - a Bowels movement.
becks wins this day. And I have no clue what the “licking tears” SP reference is.. so count me stupid.
Oh I had some creative names for a lot of people that my friends and I would say. Course we had creative names for each other too. The one that pops into my mind is this girl we called “Canyon Crack” or “Backcrack.” Why you ask? Because he asscrack extended halfway up her back and was wide as hell. I knew this because I sat behind her sometimes in band (and in band each level is elevated a bit, so you got better views of asscracks and cleavage)
She was my best friend’s GF at the time.. but hey… when comedic gold lends its creativity to you, ya gotta share.
Where’s my book? I’m all lonely and bored here in Los Angeles … I need something to read other than porn. I’m about to tug my penis off if I keep reading porn. Comics aren’t porn, but they’re good for penis tugging too. Maybe i have a penis tugging problem? Who am I kidding, we all know there’s no problems when you’re tuggin on yur penis.
back in my day (’90-’92), you weren’t cool in middle school if you didn’t french cuff your jeans or have really big bangs. i don’t remember anyone making a big deal about chest size. you got made fun of if you were fat or stupid, though.
Woah, someone in this comment stream has a serious superiority complex.
And you may have tiny tits, but you have a huge fat ass, and you best be shakin it saturday at the Golden Fest.
And by golden fest, I really mean when I piss all over you and you fucking love it.
i was always the skinniest kid,teenager..at my first highschool every one called me;Skeleton..later on in my life i ran into someone who used to bully me. he was unemployed,didnt finished his education and had trouble with the law..I left with this huge smile on my face..
Julia-I just ADORE Fart Party. Each installment is like a delicious comic cookie. Seriously though, what girl hasn’t lived through marjor boobie embarassment? In 7th grade a boy named Steve Berrent went to snap my bra, only I wasn’t wearing one. So I went home and told my mom I needed a bra. When she asked me why, I replied, “because the boys think I’m wearing one….!” So my sister Jill took me to Macy’s at the Rockaway Mall and asked me what size. After I sheepishly whispered in her ear…she yelled at the top of her lungs …”THAT SMALL???!!” Later that year at sleep away camp…a boy saw down my shirt and from that moment on I was known as “Peaches” for the rest of the summer!
i was a bit on the chubby side as a kid… thus somehow i got “pork” and my best friend was kinda thin… and thus “beans”
hence.. pork and beans…
i wasnt too fond of that
on occasion ill run into someone from my home town
and they will call me pork.. as if they dont remember my real name
ill give them that “did you really just fucking call me that?” look…
at which point they usually look as though they feel kind of awkward
like they just now realized how much of an idiot they still are
Boys and girls alike are total assholes. It’s nice to know that I can look forward to a nice college, and all they have to look forward to is a promotion at Wall-Mart to grocery bagger.
When I was in 8th grade and still sporting mosquito bite boobies, this asshole who always took delight in teasing me mercilessly told everyone in class on day that I was a carpenter’s dream…flat as a board and never been nailed. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me but when everyone started to laugh I broke down and cried like a big baby. Flash forward to when I was 20. I was bartending & he and his gay posse came in. He started hitting on me right away. I reminded him about making my life hell. He had the nerve to laugh and say “ya, kids can be cruel hey?” Then he fucking asked me out! I spit in his next drink without him knowing it and felt a bit better watching him drink it. That’s the first and only time I ever did something like that….and I liked it!
I’m a Sophomore and I don’t get made fun of anymore after losing weight crazy fast and out of nowhere, but in Middle School I was essentially “The fat kid who hung out with cool kids.” It was a vain attempt to stop any humiliation I might receive. I also has really long hair, so I’d get shit for that too. The most common insult was “Isn’t it time for a haircut?” and to that I’d usually respond “Isn’t it time for a face lift?”
Also, everyone here seems to be older than me, but when I was in Middle school, the girls in seventh and eighth grade were rocking C’s and D’s. They looked like they should’ve already been in highschool.
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January 16th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Damn, what an asshole! I would bet you that Mr. Travis was later known as “Stumpy Dick McGillicuty” down at the Steak & Shake off Route 5 where he bus-boys now and for the rest of his pathetic, little life.
Sad clown face *
January 16th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
p.s. your site does not like my sad clown face emoti-ma-cons.
January 16th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
My middle school nicknames included Lizbo/Lizbian, and Skips (a reference to the generic dollar store sneakers I wore). I never quite understood why pointing out the fact that I wore generic sneakers was supposed to be insulting.
January 16th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Once this total bitch named Kamaria was saying what everyone’s boobs were in relation to geological landmarks in the U.S.
She said I was the great basin and everyone laughed.
But then everyone realized how mean she was and when we were done with middle school she didn’t have any friends. Sucka!
January 16th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
The most common thing I’d get made fun of was my vocabulary. “Eh, grammah boy! You know beeg wuhds, anh?” “Muuuunh, I’m Matt Beeeernier, and I know big words.”
I have to say, even to an aspergers-afflicted, socially retarded kid like me, their awkward attempt to transform their own inferiority into a superiority through teasing (rather than, say, reading a fucking book) was pretty naked to me even then. I didn’t even get angry about that insult most times, it was so desperate and pitiful. (What’s weird is, there was tons of great stuff to make fun of me for. I always wore collared shirts tucked in, and utility pants. I had a mullett, and a girly one, too. I’d caught my head in the porch slats while on a time out, and another time I’d shat my pants. I was physically awkward, slow, and I talked in an annoying nasal voice (which I still do.)
But they used none of this; they teased me for being smart, and then later, for my dad dying.
Kids are fucking cruel and stupid.
January 16th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I got “Natrasha” all through junior high. I cried over it.
January 16th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
all the guys you ever had crushes on look the same when you draw them.
it’s kind of adorable.
January 16th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I like how this guy is pounding the table top with his fist while he is being a total asshole in panel 4. Man, middle school sucked…
January 16th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
yeah matt, but I bet you’d cry a little if they were calling you “teenie weenie” or something.
liz- i am totally calling you “skips” from now on. that nickname is great!
dan- actually, the last time I saw him was when we were 20 and he WAS bussing tables. haha! um, well, so was I but then I moved to San Francisco and all you bitches know what came after that.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Hawaiian kids are big into rhymes. They’d have said something like “Mattie-tattie and his teenie-tiny tater-tot.”
January 16th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
The really sad thing is that he was probably trying to flirt with you by talking about your tits . . . in the only context he understood, which was insulting them. You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to go back to junior high school. Well, maybe for a day.
January 16th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
In Virginia circa ‘98-2001, when I was in middle school (I think that’s right) even slightly long hair was totally unheard of, apparently, because all of my nicknames were like “The Hair” and “Afro Thunder” and “Fag,” haha
January 16th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I would have called him Travis Bowels and then licked his tears
January 16th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
BWA HA HA!! Tiny tits! That kid is awesome!
“I would have called him Travis Bowels and then licked his tears”
Everyone has seen South Park dude. And don’t even bother with the “I don’t know what you are talking about” crap…
January 17th, 2008 at 2:15 am
The “Junior Julia” is incredible.
January 17th, 2008 at 4:45 am
I think it’s important that we put Travis Bowls name in the comments so when he googles himself, he finds this comic and feels guilty. I’m going to do it again, just to make sure - Travis Bowls. And once more for luck “Travis Bowls”.
Yes, I’m with Malach on the extra E as well. And it make it strangely more relevant to more of the stuff that’s posted about here. It’s all Freudian anyway, right? Let’s start a movement - a Bowels movement.
January 17th, 2008 at 6:26 am
travis blows.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:11 am
becks wins this day. And I have no clue what the “licking tears” SP reference is.. so count me stupid.
Oh I had some creative names for a lot of people that my friends and I would say. Course we had creative names for each other too. The one that pops into my mind is this girl we called “Canyon Crack” or “Backcrack.” Why you ask? Because he asscrack extended halfway up her back and was wide as hell. I knew this because I sat behind her sometimes in band (and in band each level is elevated a bit, so you got better views of asscracks and cleavage)
She was my best friend’s GF at the time.. but hey… when comedic gold lends its creativity to you, ya gotta share.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Hey Dolly Parton,
Where’s my book? I’m all lonely and bored here in Los Angeles … I need something to read other than porn. I’m about to tug my penis off if I keep reading porn. Comics aren’t porn, but they’re good for penis tugging too. Maybe i have a penis tugging problem? Who am I kidding, we all know there’s no problems when you’re tuggin on yur penis.
But seriously, send it. Now, dammit!
January 17th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
wow, do you guys want me to beat some people up for you? i totally will.
January 17th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Boys are boobs.
January 17th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
back in my day (’90-’92), you weren’t cool in middle school if you didn’t french cuff your jeans or have really big bangs. i don’t remember anyone making a big deal about chest size. you got made fun of if you were fat or stupid, though.
January 17th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I saw these bear mittens and thought you might enjoy them
http://www.spoonsisters.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=41801&Category_Code=1006000&Product_Count=75
January 17th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
classy… people are idiots.
January 17th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
My various names included:
Apu
Habib
Burrito
Korea
Piranha
Various “fat” names
Camel jockey, sand n_____, and the ilk
Maria
more and more and more
January 17th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
“I never quite understood why pointing out the fact that I wore generic sneakers was supposed to be insulting.”
I used to get shit like that all the time too. Kids making fun of my cheap clothes or whatever. My only response was “I KNOW! being poor SUCKS!”
January 18th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Woah, someone in this comment stream has a serious superiority complex.
And you may have tiny tits, but you have a huge fat ass, and you best be shakin it saturday at the Golden Fest.
And by golden fest, I really mean when I piss all over you and you fucking love it.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:43 am
When I was in elementary school, I got “E.T. Mushy Tushy” a *lot.*
By the time I got to middle school, the kids had grown out of name calling and worked straight into pure emotional abuse.
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am
one time a boy told me it looked like two tic tacs fell down my shirt
January 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
i was always the skinniest kid,teenager..at my first highschool every one called me;Skeleton..later on in my life i ran into someone who used to bully me. he was unemployed,didnt finished his education and had trouble with the law..I left with this huge smile on my face..
January 24th, 2008 at 11:11 am
middle school sucks
i was fat in middle school so kids called me
“james and the giant stomach”
to this day it makes me sad
and im 20 now
January 24th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
tiny tits are cute.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Julia-I just ADORE Fart Party. Each installment is like a delicious comic cookie. Seriously though, what girl hasn’t lived through marjor boobie embarassment? In 7th grade a boy named Steve Berrent went to snap my bra, only I wasn’t wearing one. So I went home and told my mom I needed a bra. When she asked me why, I replied, “because the boys think I’m wearing one….!” So my sister Jill took me to Macy’s at the Rockaway Mall and asked me what size. After I sheepishly whispered in her ear…she yelled at the top of her lungs …”THAT SMALL???!!” Later that year at sleep away camp…a boy saw down my shirt and from that moment on I was known as “Peaches” for the rest of the summer!
February 24th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
AWW!
Sad hamster shuffle.
February 24th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
i was a bit on the chubby side as a kid… thus somehow i got “pork” and my best friend was kinda thin… and thus “beans”
hence.. pork and beans…
i wasnt too fond of that
on occasion ill run into someone from my home town
and they will call me pork.. as if they dont remember my real name
ill give them that “did you really just fucking call me that?” look…
at which point they usually look as though they feel kind of awkward
like they just now realized how much of an idiot they still are
February 28th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Hmm, thats the size I wear now! Hurrah!
/not in 7th grade.
March 5th, 2008 at 2:10 am
I’m still in high school.
Boys and girls alike are total assholes. It’s nice to know that I can look forward to a nice college, and all they have to look forward to is a promotion at Wall-Mart to grocery bagger.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
When I was in 8th grade and still sporting mosquito bite boobies, this asshole who always took delight in teasing me mercilessly told everyone in class on day that I was a carpenter’s dream…flat as a board and never been nailed. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me but when everyone started to laugh I broke down and cried like a big baby. Flash forward to when I was 20. I was bartending & he and his gay posse came in. He started hitting on me right away. I reminded him about making my life hell. He had the nerve to laugh and say “ya, kids can be cruel hey?” Then he fucking asked me out! I spit in his next drink without him knowing it and felt a bit better watching him drink it. That’s the first and only time I ever did something like that….and I liked it!
April 29th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Well there’s nothing wrong with “Carter.” Carter Carter bo Barter Banana Fanna fo….
since 1986 damn it! 1986! it doesn’t stop!!!
July 4th, 2008 at 12:36 am
I’m a Sophomore and I don’t get made fun of anymore after losing weight crazy fast and out of nowhere, but in Middle School I was essentially “The fat kid who hung out with cool kids.” It was a vain attempt to stop any humiliation I might receive. I also has really long hair, so I’d get shit for that too. The most common insult was “Isn’t it time for a haircut?” and to that I’d usually respond “Isn’t it time for a face lift?”
Also, everyone here seems to be older than me, but when I was in Middle school, the girls in seventh and eighth grade were rocking C’s and D’s. They looked like they should’ve already been in highschool.