When I was a little younger I would have serious internet withdrawal, but now I’m just like “wow, look at all the actually fun things I can do when I’m not tethered to hitting refresh on every damn website all day long”
True story. My elderly mom finally got wired because, “I just want to email the grandbabies…” she claimed.
Now she is addicted, orders shit on amazon and ebay like the world was ending in an hour and so on.
However, she asked me during the holidays, “Honey, what does ‘W-W-W’ stand for?” I explained and she said…”Oh. I thought it was “who” “what” and “when”…sorta like a searching engine.”
She knows just enough to be dangerous and is picking up the jargon bit by bit. She’ll probably have a gold star on eBay before June. Employees at amazon are likely to send her thank-you cards for helping send their kids through college. She is also emailing and forwarding every single chain letter and joke she can find.
I delete her messages more than read them because they’re generally entitled “FWD: Don’t break the prayer chain…” or “FWD: Support our TROOPS or Jesus will not be pleased…” or “George Carlin on Iraq”.
I have no doubt she’s found porn, but I don’t want to know about it.
New York may be like AIDS, the internet is like heroin.
Just read your wonderful story in Papercutter #6…. Public Hair. I too was surprised as a child to one day think that I’d have bushy bush growing down there. Thanks for lighting up the day. peace, and keep goin with that internet fast.. It’s good for you. KMF
yeah i never realized how much insanity i had to deal with until i got a job for a company that bills for porn…..man the internet can bring the worst out of people….i mean really why do you gotta look at hot moms with balloons? WHAT DO THE BALLOONS DO!
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January 9th, 2008 at 1:34 am
how did you do that? and i don’t mean, “how did you survive?!?!?”, but how did you stay/get away?
January 9th, 2008 at 1:53 am
You hurt my feelings.
January 9th, 2008 at 7:57 am
heh… sadly true.
January 9th, 2008 at 10:36 am
SIGH… the good ol days. Its been 15 years for me…. no peace.
January 9th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
i was away for christmas, not the last six days. there is no staying/getting away from new york. it’s the new AIDS, once you’ve got it, you’re fucked.
January 9th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I always thought AIDS worked the other way around.
January 9th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
it’s opposite day!
January 9th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
We love you too, Julia.
In a gruff, manly sort of way.
January 9th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
When I was a little younger I would have serious internet withdrawal, but now I’m just like “wow, look at all the actually fun things I can do when I’m not tethered to hitting refresh on every damn website all day long”
January 10th, 2008 at 12:56 am
True story. My elderly mom finally got wired because, “I just want to email the grandbabies…” she claimed.
Now she is addicted, orders shit on amazon and ebay like the world was ending in an hour and so on.
However, she asked me during the holidays, “Honey, what does ‘W-W-W’ stand for?” I explained and she said…”Oh. I thought it was “who” “what” and “when”…sorta like a searching engine.”
She knows just enough to be dangerous and is picking up the jargon bit by bit. She’ll probably have a gold star on eBay before June. Employees at amazon are likely to send her thank-you cards for helping send their kids through college. She is also emailing and forwarding every single chain letter and joke she can find.
I delete her messages more than read them because they’re generally entitled “FWD: Don’t break the prayer chain…” or “FWD: Support our TROOPS or Jesus will not be pleased…” or “George Carlin on Iraq”.
I have no doubt she’s found porn, but I don’t want to know about it.
New York may be like AIDS, the internet is like heroin.
January 10th, 2008 at 8:17 am
HAW HAW! I just blogged about this! I R teh kewl!
January 10th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
all i use the internet for is to see when I will be mentioned in fart party.
January 11th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Just read your wonderful story in Papercutter #6…. Public Hair. I too was surprised as a child to one day think that I’d have bushy bush growing down there. Thanks for lighting up the day. peace, and keep goin with that internet fast.. It’s good for you. KMF
March 7th, 2008 at 12:02 am
This works, unless you go to highschool.
March 12th, 2008 at 10:35 am
there are jackass douchebags on the intrawebs? i wouldve never guessed…
March 13th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Hahahahaha, the comments are better than the cartoon. @ T-2 loved the story, rofl
March 14th, 2008 at 5:12 am
yeah i never realized how much insanity i had to deal with until i got a job for a company that bills for porn…..man the internet can bring the worst out of people….i mean really why do you gotta look at hot moms with balloons? WHAT DO THE BALLOONS DO!