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bad news in my crappy neighborhood

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fart party comic for 2007-04-02

bad news in my crappy neighborhood

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

commentors- please don’t be a bunch of nerdy white people & leave comments like “OMG! you SHOULD move! LOL” or whatever, because it’ll annoy the shit out of me. thanks.

35 Responses to “bad news in my crappy neighborhood”

  1. Jamie Says:

    It looks like head shots are the most popular way to kill someone in Western Addition.

  2. sarah Says:

    thank god for the 2nd amendment!

  3. Matt Bernier Says:

    What’s with all the slayings anyhow? Is it gang violence, or is it really overzealous muggers? In Lewiston Maine they have a ton of drunk assholes stabiing each other all the time, but making the jump to shooting someone in the head is kind of a big one.

    I was gonna blog recently about how Maine is funny becase here, if you hear a shotgun, you don’t feel afraid to keep walking towards it. It’s probably just some guy shooting in his backyard. But then some crazy asshole on Minot Avenue just killed his mother with an AK47, nearly decapitating her with the bullets, so I should qualify that rule by saying that in Maine gunshots are not okay in city or suburban areas, and automatic weapons fire is never okay.

  4. Liz Says:

    Perhaps a helmet is required? Or would that just be asking for it?

  5. Jordan Says:

    Just for the record, I don’t think you should move. Crappy neighborhoods are more interesting, and you’ll be a much crazier old lady for having lived there.

  6. MisterInvisible Says:

    Boston had a nice violence spike this weekend, too. We even had the Guardian Angels come back up here to help us.

    Just wait’ll it gets hot outside. Yeesh.

  7. M Says:

    “commentors- please don’t be a bunch of nerdy white people & leave comments like “OMG! you SHOULD move! LOL” or whatever, because it’ll annoy the shit out of me. thanks.”

    Then how’s bout you do less trite/predictable comics about your thinly-veiled white flight desires and white guilt?

    Or! Just be glad you live in one of the safest nations in he world and don’t get sucked in to all the OMG SHOOTINGS!11!! shit.

    It’s too bad for the folks who got killed, and their families though. Every summer there’s at least a couple drive-bys in my neighborhood that result in the death of a little kid playing in their front yard, or in one case last year, actually inside her house.

    Anyway, snarky comment aside, I like your comic in general.

  8. Julia Says:

    how about you eat a bag of wet dicks? fuckface.

  9. Fuzzy Says:

    OMG! you SHOULD move! LOL

    The best part is that you’ve probably already denied 20 other comments exactly like this one from people who all thought they were extremely clever.

    In any case, I want to one day leave such an assholish comment that you tell me to “eat a bag of wet dicks”, because that’s something I’ve always aspired to. Minus the “wet” part, cuz that’s just gross.

  10. Sven Says:

    Or how about you eat a bag of needles then at least you’d have a point.

  11. Matt Bernier Says:

    If you dry your dicks off in a salad spinner and then store them between layers of cool, moist paper towals, it prevents them from wilting.

    Or, if they’re already a little wilted, a quick soak in water with some white vinegar in it will perk them right up again!

    That, or Pornography.

  12. Julia Says:

    haw! bernier takes the cake again

  13. Elizabeth Says:

    Maybe you should get a gun.

  14. Jordan Says:

    You could always bake ‘em at 250 for a couple of hours until dry and crispy…

  15. Julia Says:

    oh, Ill get a gun alright, a motherfucking squirt gun! its hot out today

  16. Arlene Says:

    It doesn’t matter where you go, white people. you’re all gonna die.

  17. Bob Says:

    But I am a nerdy white guy. From the suburbs, no less! Just how many dicks are there in a bag, anyway?

  18. Bobby Andersen Says:

    I witnessed a shooting outside of Taqueria Cancun once (no one was killed). I just ended up laughing. Does that make me a bastard?

  19. Rachel Says:

    Mike and I are considering moving ten minutes away to North Park - because we could be in a bigger place and we have a lot of friends there - and all of our friends have started telling us stories from the last two months: the break ins, the numerous shootings and car jackings, the vandalism to peoples cars while they’re in their on driveways, etc. I just think everywhere is getting more violent. :/

  20. Julia Says:

    hey rachel- I got “side A” yesterday and it’s fantastic! For those of you music nerds AND comics nerds, you can see the two together at http://www.poseurink.com/sidea/

  21. h Says:

    geeeez. yeah, i’m usually unphased as well… but the 13 year old girl with a shot to the head kinda got to me. also, the shootings right in front of your appartment. will you have to be a witness to the cops? i dunno how that stuff works. be careful, julia. this sounds kind of horrible, but i’d miss your comic. lol

    i dunno, i usually have an invisibility shield up… so i’m usually ok.

  22. michael Says:

    yeah that’s rough.. i never like to hear about kids getting hurt much less killed…

    I live in a crappy neighborhood, but ususally the heavy gunfire happens about 7-8 blocks away, and nothing near as bad as western addition. the “neighborhood association” here makes it worse, because they’re a bunch of suburban whitey crypto-racists.. i’d almost rather have the whores and dealers. at least they don’t take my picture with their “security cam’ while i’m walking down the street.

    anyway, take care and just keep your wits about you… you’ll be fine.

    _m

  23. Liz Says:

    I live in a “bad” neighborhood as well (meaning, predominantly lower-income black people live here) so I know what you mean. We’ve had some pretty high profile shootings here in Flatbush since I’ve lived here, and I’ve seen what looked like a deli being robbed (I was across the street but I heard what I think was a gunshot and I saw people fleeing). The main thing to know is why people seem to shoot each other in your neck of the woods. Here, most seem to be drug-related, or cop-hating-related, but we also do get a scary enough amount of seemingly random killings as well. Like the guy who was just minding his own business BBQ-ing in the park… he wasn’t even robbed. That is the shit that freaks me out. But living in NYC post-9/11 where we are made to feel paranoid about terrorists constantly, I have learned to not be scared of random violence. And so should you.

  24. Simon Says:

    Elizabeth is right, get a gun already! The USA needs more people carrying guns. Especially girls who draw comics. Pen in one hand, uzi in the other. Have a safe, self-defensive week.

    And get a bulletproof vest too. Or a thing to put around your bike like the Pope (John-Paul II) used to have. The Pope always carried several guns anyways.

    P.S. I live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada where there are very few guns and people who shoot them.

  25. T2 Says:

    I’m surprised that there wasn’t a rash of comments and stories about “how bad it was in MY neighborhood”. Damn, I wanted to add a few. Truth is, sometimes you have to live where you live because there ain’t no other place.

    Often it’s financial determinism that makes you stay in a place. Maybe it’s other stuff, but whatever the reason is, you often stay because you must.

    Plus, you generally get a couple of warnings before the violence actually reaches out and grabs you. It’s not always a surprise.

    I think you are smart enough to recognize the warnings by now. I also think you’ll stay as long there only as long as you need to.

    Oh yeah, when you begin to really see what can happen and really see what kinda place this is, it’s okay to be a little scared. You’d be an idiot not to be.

    Julia, do what you hafta. Then….well, you’re smart enough to know the rest of the speech.

  26. Rob Says:

    Is it OK to still be scared by America?

    I’ve lived in “bad neighbourhoods” in a couple of countries and I still consider “a shooting” to be something like “meeting lovely new people at the laundromat” — something that really only happens on TV.

  27. Uni Says:

    o-0;;

    We’ve had an influx of shootings over here.. but that’s down in England.
    Um.. I guess any advice I could give would just be the obvious shit like “Don’t go down a dark alleyway by yourself, or at all”.

    Stay safe.

  28. Anna Says:

    The idea of shootings outside my house terrifies me… but then i’m a white girl from Oxford, England… Feet scare me…

    So…. I like your hat in this strip…

  29. Leon Says:

    Headshots hey? The kids are obviously playing far too many videogames these days. Still, its a hell of a lot better than car bombs.

  30. GoofyRobo Says:

    We had an outbreak of violence here last summer, which was met by crazy insane vigilante justice. Which was commented on by the local authorities who basically said, stop being a criminal and people won’t kill you.

  31. Ana Says:

    I just moved from Fitchburg, MA to Allston, MA (which is a borough of Boston). Even though Fitchburg was a drug-den (Meth Clinic down the road and myriad stabbings at the local bars), I felt very safe there. Maybe it’s because I’m white…

    But although Boston has been plagued with a crime spike of it’s own (hello, Orange Line), it still feels very safe to walk around the city. Maybe it’s the bums - they are extraordinarily mild, or maybe it’s the high percentage of hipsters. Who knows.

    The point is, you can get stabbed anywhere, even Montreal, Quebec, Canada. (Hey Simon, we ALL know where Montreal is, we don’t need Latitude/Longitude.)

  32. Taylor Says:

    I’m from a tiny town in Utah, and have been living in Seattle for a few years. A LOT of shit scares the hell out of me that probably doesn’t even phase established urbanites. Seattle is a relatively safe city, but South Park, Columbia City, and some areas of First hill and downtown (3rd and Pine…ugh) are place I don’t like to be.

    It’s all about perspective though, and I’m a huge wussy….I thought I had a point, dammit…..

    Anyway, if shootings are happening in front of your apartment, you should probably move.

  33. JahCongo Says:

    You might want to consider packing a .22 or somethin’…

  34. Curious Says:

    Soooo ummmmm Does any body know how many dicks come in a bag???????

  35. Lindsay Says:

    Haha, not to be nitpicky, but it’s “bystander.” Like a person. Not a bystandard, which is funny, though.

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