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All contents © 2008 Julia Wertz
February 8th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
oh the expressions! ha ha!
February 8th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
yeah, that last one made me think, “wtf, who would ask that?” lol
February 8th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
god damn that pisses me off.
February 8th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I feel you. I worked in a cafe during my first year of law school, and I had these fucking asshole rig pigs saying dumb shit like that all the time. My secret dream is that one day, I’ll turn down representing them for some kind of drug charge or drunk driving thing.
February 8th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
actually it’s not the cafe job that drives me nuts, it the restaurant one. Cafe assholery only lasts a few minutes, whereas in a restaurant it can go on for hours.
February 8th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
This is why I’ve vowed never to return to any job where I have to interact with customers.
February 8th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
…and by cafe, I mean a sit down restaurant that was called a cafe.
I’m looking forward to the time when the average waitress/barista is more educated than the average middle management twat.
February 8th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
I love your comics because they are so true to life, and this one definately makes me happy. I just got off a shift where I was stiffed three times, yelled at for running out of mushrooms, told i would probably look good if I wore my hair down, and then told twice that a woman’s tea wasn’t hot enough, the second time after I watched her watch me give myself a second degree burn on it. The bullshit someone will give another human being just because they are serving them is astounding.
February 8th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
So, did you show any tit?
February 8th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
now i know to never get a job at a restursnte thanks!
February 8th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
man, why are customers such pricks AND shitty tippers? i thought bartending would be different but all you get are drunk housewives who complain about 2 oz of vodka in a 5 oz bloody mary not being enough. . . T.T
February 8th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Why are people so stupid as to be rude to wait staff? Don’t they realize you handle their food before it is served to them?
I tend to kiss the ass of my food server…results in more betterer service. If it’s shitty service, I am still respectful…I always remember that they handle my food before I get it. I just tip regular, (or try to understand that there is probably a back story to their day of which I am unaware…maybe I’m just a schmuck) but if the service is good, I overtip.
I also overtip breakfast food servers. They work harder and faster than on any other meal and the food cost less, therefore generally smaller tips.
I was prep cook and line chef in college and it was the hardest job I ever had. I made sure to treat the wait staff with respect…they were on the front line and could make me look good to customers and the boss. I got good on the line but got burned a lot. Still have some of the scars and this was a bazillion years ago.
Anyway, screw those people and spit in their cokes.
Maybe not. Just spit in their cokes.
Hey J…did you get the envelope?…no biggie, just checkin’.
February 8th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Yeah, I’ve worked at restaurants for too long, and I’ve heard all of those (in one form or another, anyway). Customers do say a lot of things that annoy me, but they also make me laugh from time to time. Some examples are:
“Did you find Belinda’s nuts?”
“I’ll take your cherry.”
“Be careful the balls don’t fall off.”
“Put it in my box, please.”
And I always smile a little when I bring a lady her food and she happily says, “My, that was quick.”
Always try and enjoy what you do, even if it sucks ass.
February 9th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Classic, great! Revenge is sweet in that these faces fools are mocked and disgusted by millions. Way to go! Sometime soon, you’ll get to send “I want my coffee hot; you hear” a very hot coffee, perhaps in his general genitalia direction.
“You’d earn more money if you showed …”, yeah and you’d get more respect being about the size of your **ck.
Perhaps there’s managagement available and you can, perhaps, set away a bit from the luatic fringe.
February 9th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Oh my god. i love this one. and I HATE (most) people! The creepy sense of entitlement that people develop when they are rich, or it has been years since they have worked in the service industry is awful. At the chocolate shop (where I now work) people constantly comment on my weight. I have no problem with my weight at all, but they have this like, bizarre idea that because I’m behind the counter they can just say whatever they want about me. It drives me CRAZY!
February 9th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
check this out, its for servers everywhere…
http://www.thislife.org/pages/descriptions/00/172.html
February 9th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
man, that sucks. i hope you at least get some good comments every now and then. every now and then i get some sweet comment at work that just makes my day. and then there are other days where i have to physically walk people out of the shop because i’m closing. and they still don’t want to leave.
February 10th, 2007 at 1:05 am
More people would read this comic if you showed some tit!
just kidding! I love your work, and check everyday for new material… hope to meet you at a con someday.
-Timothy
February 10th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Comment in panel 2 is true, even if it is rude. I knew a Hooters girl once and she made ridiculous tips.
I don’t understand tipping anyway. Why the hell should I pay the restaurant employees? I paid for my food. Shouldn’t the owner handle them getting money? I’ve been in all kinds of shitty service jobs and was nice about it and no one gave me any tips. If the job sucks shit, get another one.
February 10th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
doode. are you serious or is this some kind of lame attempt to provoke my wrath? I’m going to assume it is, cause no one is that big of a fucking asshole. You could fit at least seven dicks up yours.
February 11th, 2007 at 2:06 am
gah, actually T.T that guy may be serious. I’ve met people who’ve had the same opinion.
You paid for your food, not for us to get your your fucking 100 refills that you don’t even finish before you ask for more or the extra extra sides of ranch or that secret dressing that’s made of chicken fat and sugar that I’m ooooooh so close to telling you that’s what it is as you guzzle it down T.T
We get paid our minimum wage for cleaning the restuarant and prepping stuff. Any interraction with you is pretty much what tips are for.
end rant…
February 11th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Why is it that a dozen nice comments to the artist go by ignored, but as soon as one negative one shows up, BAM, there they are ready to tell you what an asshole you are? People are so defensive of criticism, and so passive about praise. It’s an odd world that way.
For the record, I always tip, and generally the standard 15%, unless service SUCKS. And I SAID that you deserve more money. The job would suck shit, and there is no way in hell that I would do it. I’d be giving hand-jobs in the back alley first. I just think the restaurant owners should cough up, instead of expecting customers to do it.
So Julia, in answer to your question, “are you serious or is this some kind of lame attempt to provoke my wrath?”, I guess it was a bit of both. It was a bit of a social experiment to see if you would respond despite ignoring anything nice I have written in the past. But it was also partially serious, though I certainly don’t think people in the service industry deserve less money.
Although I was TOTALLY serious about this: “If the job sucks shit, get another one.”
February 11th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
To bigmaciraq:
Why would a dozen nice comments go by without notice? Have you noticed that neither Julia, nor any artist I’ve ever seen, responds personally to every single comment they get? They respond to comments with stuff in them they feel like talking about, or to comments by friends, or just to comments that strike their interest. Most people understand that no artist is going to reply to them personally for every kind comment left on their website.
And I call total bullshit when you say you were perfoming a “social experiment”, Dr. annoying. Was this a coordinated double-blind study? Were you doing this to a wide cross section of cartoonists? Or are you just a frustrated fan with a sense of entitlement seeking to get attention?
Julia Julia! Look at meeeeeee!
February 11th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
I call bullshit too. but my favorite part is where you say “I was totally serious about this: if the job sucks shit, get another one” because that was what actually pissed me off, not the retarded management theory. Get another job? why didn’t I think of that? Here I’ve been working every day at two shitty restaurant jobs when I could have just skipped on out & got myself another job, cause lord knows them jobs is ripe for the pickin’.
as for who’s comments I respond to, I tend to follow the wise words of my high school english teacher who said “I think a lot of people are jackasses and I enjoy pointing it out.”
February 11th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
BigMacDouchebag,
Please get a job in a restaurant for a month and then come back and reread your comment. I worked just fine on the expo line in a restaurant for 5 years, THEN became a server. I lasted maybe a couple months, and they were some of the worst in my life.
I do not think because of your rationale, the NATIONAL standards for tipping will change and have the owners ‘cough up”. That’s how it is and you’re just gonna have to deal.
Julia-I think you should charge this kid to post a comment, and then charge double for you to fulfill his dream and reply, and then you wouldn’t need this job.
February 11th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Equally common is that every frustrated fan will come running to the defense of the subject (Especially female ones) in the hopes that the subject will fall madly in love with them and they can live happily ever after. “Look Julia! I saved you from the nasty words! Please love me!”
“Was this a coordinated double-blind study?” ROFL! No I am not writing a paper on it. I’ve just seen it happen before and thought “I kinda disagree with it. I wonder if me disagreeing will make the usual thing happen?” Do I expect a reply to every post? Hell no! I never expect a reply. But look what happened.
“I think a lot of people are jackasses and I enjoy pointing it out.†Ha ha! This is certainly a quality quote, and although I wish it wasn’t necessarily pointing at me, I do agree with it. And as my bullshit social experiment proved, it is certainly the norm.
“Get another job? why didn’t I think of that?” Really? How many resumes have you given out this year so far? I’ll bet the answer is zero. You are CLEARLY way to clever to not be able to get another job if you really wanted one. And let me preemptively say, I am not falling back on compliments to get back in your good graces. I am just saying that none of the many middle management types that I’ve met would be clever enough to write your comic.
February 11th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Dude, shut up! You’ll blow my cover, and then I’ll never get to come on her tits!
February 11th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
well big mac, it’s a good thing that you know EVERYTHING so the rest of us retards dont have to bother with thinkin’ real hard about stuff. Clearly, I cannot make my own decisions and I have no idea what is good for me.
And the only way to get in my good graces is saying horribly inappropriate things like “come on her tits.” hi mom!
February 11th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Homelessness, go on SSDI, and then public housing, that’s the good life.
Or there’s always internet porn.
February 11th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
no way, dude, if I did internet porn, you’d all find out that I’m really a fat, hairy middle aged man who makes comics about a 24 y/o female while eating cheetos & diet dr. pepper.
February 11th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
“well big mac, it’s a good thing that you know EVERYTHING so the rest of us retards dont have to bother with thinkin’ real hard about stuff.” = “No, I haven’t put out any resumes, and shut up asshole for busting me on that.”
I most certainly don’t know everything, but I do know some things. I’ve had shit jobs is all, and I don’t now.
Of course, it helps that daddy is a CEO of a massive conglomerate and gave me a cushy job where I get paid to play nintendo DS all day.
February 11th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
you deserve more praise than anything. it takes a lot of guts to let people in on your life.
i’d rather not work, but i wouldn’t be able to buy your comix. or have internet access. or own a toothbrush.
is it really difficult for restaurant owners to stay afloat if they don’t pay the minimum wage? am i wrong here? i’ve watched shows about independently owned restaurants and how they have trouble making ends meet. i’d rather support the independent places than the large chains.
February 11th, 2007 at 11:52 pm
Hey, I just want to point out that Bernier is not a “frustrated fan,” but an equally kickass artist in his own right. (Look Matt! I saved you from the nasty words! Please love me!)
PS: I hate the internet right now.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:13 am
I think this is a comment world record
February 12th, 2007 at 12:15 am
hey tessa, i know what you mean when people talk about your weight. i used to work at a bakery, and at least everyday, a customer would come in and be all “how do you stay so skinny and still work here!!” i wish i would have said something like, “i go in the bathroom and throw up between customers” but all you can do is smile and say “i don’t know.”
..actually, i know exactly how i stay skinny. i don’t eat a bunch of fucking donuts, you tard.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:24 am
And when the next comic is posted, this thread of comments will be nigh instantly forgotten. I dare say this is the last one it’ll get! I sure hope everyone enjoyed it. Its abit A-Holey, but I did. Also, there is a niche that needs filling, in porn, by dr. pepper drinking bear-men.
February 12th, 2007 at 5:45 am
To that macwhatever dude,
Probably not worth the response, but here it is.
You’re missing the point of the cafe, bar, whatever job. Waiting tables is a day job, a means to an end, and an necessary evil. It allows you to make a decent amount of cash AND keep a flexible schedule. That’s why almost every person in the industry does it. It is the thing you do to pay the bills so you can do the things you want to do.
It may seem to you that one waitress job is as good as another and on paper you’d be correct. However if you switch to a new place you might not have the seniority to get in on the good Friday night shifts and additionally get stuck with some of the crappier shifts to even get the job. So after you’ve left for a “better” job you’ll need to rearrange classes or another job and may actually make less for the first six months. Of course the idiots you deal with every day aren’t going to change no matter where you work.
Middle management huh? It took me two years to make the same money at a nine to fiver that I made waiting tables part time and three years for the hourly pay to match. Tossing resumes at entry level office work tends not to be an immediate step forward and rent doesn’t wait a year or so for the pay off.
Lastly all I ever wanted as a waiter, and I assume most servers, was for you the customer to not be a dick. Or at least wait till we spectacularly fail to start being one.
kashani, eight years waiting tables, bar tending, despising the public
February 12th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Okay Jason, I’ll come on your tits instead. Oh, and Jason who? Do I know you?
February 12th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
matt- he’s jason martin, I told you about his zine, laterborn, which you couldn’t find on the internet. jason, make a goddamn website!
February 12th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
A Fat Old Man? Wow, and I am actually a 16 year old cheerleader . .
February 12th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
I got a chick at a seafood restaurant once who yelled at me for bisselling. I will admit, those little half-ass vacuum cleaners make a pretty loud noise, but it was five minutes after close, and she was dragging her ass getting out of the restaurant. When it’s 11:05, that equals ‘time to go.’ Not to mention she’d been there for two hours.
So, she yells at me for bisselling, accusing me of interrupting her pleasant evening. She also told me that she might have to have a word with my manager about my incompetence, because she “couldn’t stand bad service people.” In addition, I was not her waiter.
So, when I got off shift, I waited until she was on the way out of the restaurant, and as she passed through the doorway, said, “You better hope you never see me outside this restaurant.” She gave me a look, then went on her way.
Also, when we got outside, I tried to hit her with my car. Well, not really… just tried to clip her a little. I felt pretty good on the drive home.
Do you think I was being too harsh?
February 12th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
um…yes. you tried to clip her with your car? you threatened her? overreact much? One thing I hate about servers (and keep in mind I’ve been one for eight years) is that some of them seem to completely forget how much fun it is to eat out, and how easily it can be ruined by a bad server. Not to say you were bad, but dude, if the restaurant closes at 11 and you start vacuuming at 11:05, that fucking sucks for them. where do you work, TGIFridays? you & the woman were both whiney little bitches over a very petty issue. Plus you could get arrested for that and then what do you tell your friends? “I got arrested for threatening a lady at a seafood restaurant because she bitched me out for bisselling?” what the hell is “bisselling” anyways? I dont think that’s even a word.
February 12th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
J&M: my stuff will be on sale at http://xip.nu pretty soon (as soon as I send the info to Calvin, which I was supposed to do 2 weeks ago). Don’t know when the website will happen, though…
February 13th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Well, I’d been working there for eight months, hadn’t been paid in three (because, as I later found out, the manager wasn’t paying the building rent), was working my third shift in a row, and had only had six tables in a twelve-hour period because the restaurant was failing (shitty location). Also, she bitched at me for about five minutes in front of my table and the rest of the staff ( said I’d be better suited washing dishes; not sure if that was a racial thing or not, though probably not). So, yeah, I overreacted. First and last time I ever said anything negative to a customer. And I didn’t really try to hit her, just came close as she was walking to her car, made her jump. I’m not about to smack someone with a thousand-pound object just ’cause they pissed me off. That having been said, I have no qualms against threatening people who act like assholes.
Oh, and a bissel is a little swiffer-type thing you use to clean up carpet. It has a little brush wheel inside that makes a horrible clattering noise whenever it’s used. I didn’t like to use them when there were still tables sitting, but the manager was hurrying us out. I think he had a card game or something.
Ah, memories.
February 14th, 2007 at 12:16 am
worst server ever - As I stated a few times already, I would not ever do that job. I couldn’t put up with the idiots. But if I did, I’d stand by what I said. Note, I NEVER said that servers should be paid less than they do now. Plus, I am not a “kid”. I’d wager (sadly) that I am the oldest person on the thread.
Kashani - Thanks for the explain. the “macwhatever dude” read it. I promise I have never been a dick to a server who wasn’t spectacularly terrible.
To all servers everywhere (except Devon who is a bit of an ass, and also a bit homicidal) - I love you! I acknowledge the shittiness of your jobs. I would not/could not do it. I am just not cheery enough. You have to suck terribly to not get at least the standard 15% from me.
Julia - Sorry I caused such a stir. Seriously, I was just ranting about societal norms, not servers expecting tips. As I said, I always tip. Also, I’ll mention I rarely make a stink about little errors. Big ones I get corrected, but still do not freak out about. Everyone makes mistakes.
I just don’t understand people who absolutely hate their jobs, but won’t try for another one. Sorry if that hit a nerve.
February 14th, 2007 at 8:30 am
welcome to the internet, doods.
February 16th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
…can i get some fuckin biscuits!?! …
waiting tables can be a bitch but being served by a fucking moron at the sushi shop in v-town who brings me a bottle of sapporo thats half full and says ..’1 small saki sir…’ hmmmm, no. yes i ordered the saki, yeah the small one but this, this brown bottle right here, the one with the sapporo lable on it. ITS NOT A SMALL SAKI. oh, Julia, sorry i didn’t recognise you. you work here….awkward.
February 16th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
by-the-way, i totally tip! right on! high five’s for everyone!
March 2nd, 2007 at 11:21 am
I blame Quentin Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs” for the pervasiveness of the anti-tipping philosophy.
I also blame Quentin Tarantino for the annoyingly high number of people who go around whistling “twisted nerve” ALL THE TIME. Though that is really not related to being a waitress.
March 13th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
I was just about to comment on how Mr. Iraq was just trying to emulate Mr. Pink. Beat me to it.
Also, Julia, above, where you illustrate (beautifully) the difference between cafe assholery and restaurant assholery…you put perfectly into words why I’ve never been able to make a jump from the former to the latter…
March 11th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Who asks for their tip back? a dick! that’s who…
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:20 pm
I used to work at a KFC and every Sunday all the churchgoers would come in and be total assholes. Fuck service jobs, lol. Actually… work in general blows.
Lol, last comment was Feb of last year, whatever, I’m bored as hell and have no life.